Birthin NEW ideas

Birthing NEW Ideas     

Humour me a little longer with a continuation of the previous weeks’ thoughts…..

         “I am no greater than the thoughts I think”.  How EFFECTIVE are we in our BUSY modern way of life? Have we exchanged Effectiveness for Busy-ness?  I very seldom take the time to make a phone call just to say ‘Hi’.  Luckily I have a brother who does…. Bless you Friedoline!  Well, in part it is also cost related…. In essence it’s really about taking the TIME. As the saying goes – giving your time is the most precious gift you have.

        As we run from A to B and back again – do we still have time to be creative?  I am not talking about painting a still-life on canvass.  I mean:  do you still pay attention to your creative thoughts?  Our enthusiasm and joy for living will diminish without creativity. We need to stay fresh and current, we need to grow and invent. It can be the same job, the same life, the same relationships…. with a fresh approach…. a little inspiration!

       Bishop TD James uses the analogy of being pregnant.  We are all pregnant with ideas already! It is how we have been created!  We all have many little seeds of creativity popping up all the time.  Think about the most successful business you know. It started as an IDEA, a thought! The success is not the person who had the thought, nor the building that houses the business, not even the product!  The success is the initial THOUGHT, the initial seed, the initial idea. The nurturing and cultivating of that seed results in the reward of the fruit or the flower.

        Ideas are the birthing place for opportunity, but it does require a brave heart to start off with.  It requires self-belief and self-worth!  It requires your attention, nurturing and cultivating.  It requires perseverance and Trust and Faith! How many ideas have you allowed to be born?

       Your Ideas spring from your inner most being, your soul.  As humans, we long to be creative, each in our own unique way.  It is what makes us feel truly alive!

Karin Engman       Laleli Life Coach and Motivational Speaker    072 1896951

www.karin-engman.blogspot.com         thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

My Thoughts feed my Soul 15 November 2013

My Thoughts feed my Soul     15 November 2013

I am delighted to have Oprah back in my life!! Although I have MANY American based issues personally, I love her style and her passion for her work.  Have you watched Super Soul Sunday?

   My introduction to Bishop TD James just blew me away!  I am not one for the Rah-Rah, as my friend Di puts it…but looking past the profuse sweating, spitting  and shouting, as he builds up to his crescendo – his message made a LOT of sense to me. This is my interpretation of his “Life Class”

      Relationships – Relationships – Relationships! Most important, the relationship with Self. Am I really honest with myself?  Am I denying a part of who I am?  The more I push it away – the stronger this part will fight to be recognized and acknowledged. 

     We tend to project our Ideal Self when we meet someone and somehow manage to keep up ‘the imagine’ for the longest time, even into a Life partnership agreement. (Marriage or Business) I believe this is mostly unconscious, as we really do aspire to be this person we project.   It is only after the ‘honeymoon’ phase passes, that we start showing our REAL self!  As the Bishop says:  One morning you wake up and wonder:  who is this person next to me?  This leads to obvious unhappiness and strife and usually ends in going our separate ways.  

    When we meet people:  Who are they attracted to, who are we attracted to?  A projected illusion?  We can’t hope to find THE ONE until we get on the path back to the authentic self, our Core.  

      “Your power is not where you are now – it is where you have been”. It is time to get rid of the clutter, guilt and shame – so that we can recognize the gifts of all the lessons we have already learnt.  Past hurt/disappointment/guilt are the lessons of growth. It is part of who we are! This is what makes us human, this is what makes us attractive and makes us the perfect life partners for that special person. Regardless of the muffin top and the cards of imperfections dealt to us, it requires creative out of the box thinking, to make the best of it! It really is quite funny – we take ourselves FAR too seriously!

      It is our choice to create a new space of freshly toiled soil, to sow the seeds of our creative IDEAS and INSPIRATIONS (based on our thoughts).  We choose who we cultivate within.

        LIVE YOUR REAL LIFE NOW – BE THE REAL YOU NOW – stop wasting precious time – you are missing your life!  Time is irreplaceable – you need to maximise what you have now – acknowledge what you have now. Why are we so needy to hear the praise of what others think?  Those are other peoples’ thoughts.  If we search for someone to like our thoughts, we put our destiny into the hands of someone else. Feed yourself with your own thoughts of approval and self-worth.

“I am no greater than the thoughts I think .”   Invite the Spirit of Grace and Gratitude and smell the freshly prepared soil as you sow the seeds!    

 Karin Engman   Laleli Life Coach and Motivational Speaker     072 1896951

thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za    www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

Despite adversity - Attitude is a choice 8 November 2013

Despite adversity - Attitude is a choice

  

My nephew Nicholas Dedekind was diagnosed with Stargardt’s disease.  Within a year he became legally blind.  Despite the terrible shock and adjustment for him, his brother and parents, he kept his head held high and his family remained strong. 

   Yes, there were dark days of tears and despair, but I have never heard him complain, not even once.  His kind and caring heart and his sense of humour have remained unchanged.  He chose to stay in his mainstream school and has completed Grade 8, this year, with the achievement of merits academically and also received the athlete of the year award for his age group, despite his disability.  This past Sunday he was awarded the Overcomers Award from the school, in a special church service attended by 2500 plus people.  He received a standing ovation and caused many tears.  He truly is a remarkable and inspiring young man.  Nicholas is facing his challenge with a positive attitude that would make any parent very proud.

   As such, it is a choice, for all of us to decide, do we want to make excuses or do we  take life head on with all the challenges we face.  With a positive attitude you can do anything you set your heart on.  Let Nicholas be an inspiration to everyone who reads this article. 

Ermelo Animal Rescue Society

The Gift of Nature 1 November 2013

The Gift of Nature   1 November 2013

At this time of year, the extravaganza of the Iceberg Roses is simply breath taking, especially in a large grouping.  First the buds are filling out with the promise….then from one day to the next, they are all flowering!  What a joy!  It lights up the entire space!

       Today is my father-in-laws’ (lives in Sweden) birthday!  Grattis Borje! He is like a breath of fresh air, when it comes to seeing and appreciating nature. He would love the show the roses are putting on this year!

    I am reminded of “our life is but a blink of an eye”.  How much do we miss as we hold onto the speed train of our busy lives? Before we know it, our kids are out of the house, then we are middle aged and then we are old…..

    Unless we take the time, we will miss the entire show of Iceberg blooming event! Yes we do see it, it, but do we sit stop and really take it in and rejoice in the beauty? My bed of roses looks like a thousand candles lit up at once. It filled my whole being with so many possibilities, and opportunities.  I am grateful for all that I have, and all the love that surrounds me.  Today I choose to focus on what I have, instead of what I do not have.  Today I choose to appreciate that which I love in others, instead of what I wish I could change.  The perfection of nature is worth ‘pausing’ for just that moment or two.  A reminder, that God is with you – every step of the way.

Karin Engman     life coach and motivational speaker    072 1896951

thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za    www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

Bag of Potatoes 25 November 2013

Bag of Potatoes  - Justice vs Forgiveness      25 October 2013

Harvesting your own planted potatoes is a special event. We put in the effort of preparing the field, plant the potatoes and look forward to especially the NEW potatoes. They are all different shapes and sizes!  For the Swedes it coincides with the mid-Summer festival in June.  New Potatoes, Herring and of course Schnapps is the order of the day!  For us it would be around Christmas.  As we plant our ‘potatoes’ in life the harvest is also variable. Next time you open a bag of potatoes, think of all the people that have hurt you or treated you wrong,  in present time and in the past.  There is no denying that there is much injustice and wrong in this world.  In this case, it is the list of injustice done to you, we need to look at. Even the smallest offence counts, if you remember it.  Allocate the size of potatoes according to the degree of hurt you felt. Perhaps some of these potatoes have been in the ground for many years and have grown REALLY large!  Write the name of the person who has hurt or wronged you, onto the potato and put it into a plastic bag.  This bag of potatoes represents the weight you are carrying around, as you hold onto hurt/anger.  Anger tricks you into thinking that JUSTICE will set you free.  The belief of “every dog has its day” or perhaps an “eye for an eye”?  Imagine that you are required to carry this bag of potatoes (even if it is only a few) around with you everywhere you go.  You will have to drive around with it, take it to work/school, walk into shops with it, take it to the dining room, to the kitchen, to the bathroom and even set it down next to your bed, only to pick it up again as you wake up.  You need to keep reminding yourself, not to leave the bag behind…..YOU NEED TO DO THIS FOR AT LEAST TWO WEEKS!!  As the days go by, the potatoes sweat in the plastic bag and start to smell bad.  A week down the line, they start getting slimy and nasty.  This is a Joyce Meyer forgiveness illustration.  Only when you have truly forgiven, can you stop carrying the weight of the pain or anger around. The action of forgiveness required is up to you. If you seek help within your religion or find professional help, or do it yourself, is your choice.   Forgiveness does not take place in the material world, it is a spiritual experience. If you wait for the offender to make matters right it would be like sitting in a rocking chair and be very busy rocking back and forth, but you will never get anywhere.  Forgiveness does NOT mean condoning the behaviour.  Forgiveness sets YOU free!  A transformation takes place in your heart, when you no longer need justice but instead harvest the fruits of forgiveness! 

Karin Engman   072 1896951   thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

Music feeds the soul 18 October 2013

Music feeds the Soul   18^th October

This morning I was feeling depleted and tired – perhaps the end of year fatigue is setting in.  A caring soul had posted the link to a 13 year old girl, Melissa Venema,   playing a solo trumpet piece ‘ Il Silencio”  at a Andre Rieu concert in Europe.  The purity and clarity of the sound played by someone so young, moved me to tears. I watched it three times!  It reminded me of the importance to make time to seek out that, which touches the soul.  In the time of a minute it felt like I had been ‘plugged in’ and recharged! Music does that for me…. What is it for you?  How much effort do you put into feeding your soul?  It goes beyond reading or listening to an inspirational message.  This is about that pure connection that speaks to just you – when you come to a complete stop.  For that moment you are transported away and can’t move.  You need to just listen and drink it in – one note at a time – one moment at a time.  Music is truly a gift from God!  

http://www.flixxy.com/trumpet-solo-melissa-venema.htm

Karin Engman     Laleli Life Coach and Inspirational Speaker      072 1896951  thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za    www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

Attitude from Gratitude 11 October 2013

Attitude of Gratitude 11 October 2013
I was recently inspired by the book: Attitude Is Everything for Success by Keith Harrell.
Successful people undoubtedly have great attitudes to life! It is such a pleasure to be around a person who is enthusiastic and has a positive outlook. Some people just have a natural ability to inspire us to go that extra mile – put in our BEST efforts. The secret ingredient I believe, is an ATTITUDE FOR GRATITUDE. Would you really want to go out of your way to please someone who has a poor attitude?

The individuals I am talking about have the attitude of: How may I serve? They are passionate about what they do and it certainly is not self-serving. They feed their positive nature by helping others to improve their lives. Phrases like “What’s in it for me” or “Everyone is against me” certainly are not a part of this attitude....
Think about your own daily interactions. Do you look forward to being around those with GREAT attitudes and look for excuses to stay away from those with a poor outlook on life?

What attitude will you choose today?
Karin Engman Laleli Life Coach and Motivational Speaker 072 1896951
thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

Cycles of Worthiness 4 October 2013

Worthiness Cycles      4 October 2013

Worthiness  ‘wobbles’ seem to come in cycles.  As soon as we feel vulnerable, life sends us all sorts of situations to check our level of self-worth. Very soon, we have all the confirmation we need to start taking everything VERY personally!! Even the person disregarding traffic laws tends to offend me on a personal level!   It is at this point that we need to pay very close attention to the dialogue taking place in our minds. You know, that silent exchange that goes round and round, over and over again? Even if you win all the arguments -  it has a very negative effect, not to mention the stomach acid!  Making a conscious decision to change the inner dialogue can be liberating! You know the:  “your thoughts create your reality”….?  It really works!! Our general LIFE quest is to reach a place of joy – the alternative is a place of despair. We need to participate in life instead of just allowing life to happen to us. Take responsibility for our current life situation and be willing to be pro-active instead of finding something or someone to blame and waiting for ‘them’ to change.

Relationship/marriage challenges often tie in with our level of self-worth. It is those closest to us that facilitate our greatest worthiness tests. It has taken me half a lifetime to recognize how powerful my internal conversations and thoughts are. The ‘worthiness tests’ are an opportunity for introspection.  As our WORTHINESS grows – so does the feeling of Grace and Gratitude to who we were created to be! Your LIFE PURPOSE  is to be YOU!

Karin Engman   072 1896951   thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za 

Laleli Holistic Life Coach and Motivational Speaker          www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

Vorfreude Anticipation 27 September 2013

Vor Freude  - Voor   Freugde  - Anticipation      27 September 2013

Life in Ermelo has made this concept a necessity for our little family.  Not only to get though the gruelling winter months, but generally speaking.  Before the winter really sets in, we book and start systematically paying towards our annual beach holiday.  Over the next months we dream and talk about what we will do once we get there.  At the first signs of spring, real anticipation sets in. We start counting the weeks and then the days.  At this resort, the big glass doors of our unit open all the way – and the ocean view is simply breath taking.  At this time of year the whales are passing through.  We can simply sit on the lounge/kitchen steps and watch the fluting, tail slapping and breaching. The sound of the crashing waves, the humidity and the smell of the ocean, clears away all the stresses.  As I write this – we have started packing beach towels, sun dresses, shorts, sarongs and hats.  Our daughter has repacked her big toy box and beach gear, at least three times in the last week.  We can virtually feel the ocean breeze on our skin!  The German expression of “Vor Freude”  (the ‘before’ joy - anticipation) is self-explanatory.  However, we need to participate in creating this Joy.  The child like excitement of REALLY looking forward to something – multiplies the benefit of the actual experience.  It is up to you to create something to look forward to in life! Nature is filled with treasure.  You may find this quiet peacefulness in your garden,  in the mountains or the ocean bringing stillness within  -  it is here that I feel truly connected to our Creator!

Karin Engman    072 1896951    thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

Laleli Motivational Speaking and Life Coach    www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

Digging for God 13 September 2013

Digging for God         10 September 2013

This time of year, most of us get the ‘green fingers’ inspiration.  To nurture seeds or seedlings, see them grow and eventually be rewarded with flowers or fruit/vegetables, is certainly worth-while.  My mother is a gardening specialist/fanatic.  She spends every possible moment in the garden. At almost 78, she injures herself all the time, as she chooses to ignore her physical limitations! Growing up, she was almost an absent parent, as she landscaped a barren Highveld property into a virtual park.  Today I understand that she found refuge in her garden, in difficult times. Twenty years or so later, they moved to the Bushveld, where she has systematically created another paradise.  Plants are moved and grouped and re-planted and moved again.  Compost heaps are created and the vegetable garden is always in full production.  Gardening, for her, is a therapy as well as a spiritual experience, where she communes with God.  My father, having given up understanding this ‘addiction to gardening’ says my mother is not happy unless she is standing head down with her fingers in the soil. I have heard it referred to as: “digging for God”.  Nature facilitates and enhances the closeness to all creation.  Some people find it on long walks in the mountains or on the beach, but this is not easily accessible here on the Highveld. When last did you take of your shoes and feel the grass under your feet?  When last did you dig into the soil with your bare hands? Try lying down in your garden on a blanket and just look at the clouds changing in the sky. Make time - even if it means sitting under a tree…..listening…..closing your eyes for a few seconds…… take a deep breath…..it is relaxing, de-stressing, and energizing!

Karin Engman    072 1896951     thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

Laleli Motivational Speaking and Life Coach    www.karin-engman.blogspot.com3

Faith and Trust 20 September 2013

Faith and Trust   20^th September 2013

What a special day this is – my mother turns 77 today – and what is even more amazing, is that my husband’s mother also turns 77 today!  They say there is no such thing as a coincidence……………..  What I so admire about my mother, is that she lives in absolute Faith and Trust.  First to do what you need to do and can do, then hand over the rest to God. This is truly a valuable gift that will stay with me forever.  God bless you on your birthday Ma!  Like the story of a pastor who bought a beautifully embroidered table cloth at a street market, to hide some rain damage in his church. He meets an old lady, who just missed her bus and since it was snowing, he offers that she waits for the next bus in the church. As he opens up the table cloth the old lady recognizes it, and confirms it by the initials she embroidered in the corner. She made this table cloth before the second world war.  She tells the pastor that her husband was arrested and taken away during the war, and that she never saw him again.  The pastor offers the table cloth to her, but she declines.  He drives her home as a token of appreciation.  At a service a few weeks later, an old man approaches the pastor after the service and asks him where he found the table cloth, as it looks just like something his wife made.  Confirming this by the initials, he talks about how he has not managed to find his wife after the war….. this is a true story! Coincidence or guided by the Grace of God?   “So when the road you’re travelling, seems difficult at best – do your part as best you can and God will do the rest”.

Karin Engman    072 1896951    thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

Laleli Motivational speaking and Life Coach    www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

The frolicking Elephant 6 September 2013

The frolicking Elephant

A video post on Facebook caught my attention this week. An animal sanctuary, located near a beach somewhere in Africa, took a baby elephant for his first encounter with the ocean.  The why and the how we’ll set aside for now.  The little elephant hesitantly walks closer to the gentle breaking waves and takes a few careful steps into the water before turning around and walking onto the beach again. Then, as though he makes a decision, he turns, RUNS and launches himself into the surf – stands up and then ‘dives down ‘ - again and again and again – then rolls around in the waves with only his trunk sticking out.  The pure abandonment of pleasure was clear to see!  He stands  up and throws himself down again into the wave as though he was trying to body surf. At the end he was getting rather daring, diving in head first and intended or not – making a “head stand”!  I laughed out loud – it was simply delightful!                                                                                                                       It encouraged me to look at my challenging situation, as though seeing it for the first time. Abandoning the fear of the unknown and simply playing in the surf! Sometimes we get overwhelmed with fear of the “what if” and “what will the people say”.  By stepping out of the fear of imagined future possible scenarios – let us rather summons our bravery and frolic in the waves.  It is infectious – it is revitalizing – it is re-energizing! With fresh courage and a new ZEST for life – we may just do the impossible!

Karin Engman              Laleli Motivational Speaking and Life Coach          072 1896951

thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za       www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

Butterflies 31 August 2013



Butterflies    August 2013

Everyday life – doing the same thing day after day – especially at this time of year , can be like living in a cocoon.   With the promise of Spring, fresh green leaves shooting all around, it seems like a good time to revitalize the spirit.  Make some changes, renew your efforts to make life better. Many creatures in nature hibernate in the winter – as should we, take quiet time – reflection time.  With the change of season and the hope of Spring in the air, it is time to rise and shine!  We need to open our awareness, and with fresh intention look at ourselves and at the world around us.  Do something a little bit different today,  break the routine of same old same old! Look at things from a different perspective. Be willing to consider a different point of view.  Just like the butterfly emerging from the cocoon, step into your world, with all your God given splendour - with new hope – and feel the joire de vivre!  The joy of Life – die huppel in jou stap!

Just for Today

JUST FOR TODAY -   August 2013

Being in the SUMMER of my life, at the age of 51, my sense is that in the WINTER of our life the view is very different. Yes, there is the Autumn to prepare for Winter, yet the changes of the seasons of life are surprisingly quick. Life does not come with any guarantees. There will have been disappointments as well as failures - there will also have been celebrations and successes. The only certainty in life is: God willing, if we are privileged, we all grow old.   When the time has come, where you look mostly to what HAS BEEN instead of what is to come – and our physical body has (as my father says) run out of spare parts – we need to be brave and strong.  To grow old gracefully, I believe, is one of life’s greatest challenges. To get through the hardest journey in life, we need to take only one step at a time – but we MUST keep on stepping! Each one of us is a unique God’s creation. That YOU is ageless. Regardless of the season you are currently in. We all need to live in acceptance of what has been and what is now. The art of living in the NOW….. this is when you really KNOW that you are alive…..this is when you feel that JOY to be alive!!!! Only then are we able to see the gift of being alive…..  Just for today – let me notice that I am still me – regardless of what my body has become. My soul is ageless – my spirit can soar and sing and dance and fly…..if I choose this today! Just for today!

Karin Engman    Laleli Holistic Life Coach and Motivational Speaker    072 1896951

www.karin-engman.blogspot.com    thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za 



New Beginnings 2 August 2013

New Beginnings        2 August 2013

A blank canvass – clean brushes, fresh palette and  a rainbow of colours  –  is how I felt when I received the link to a video today: “the best coin I ever spent”.  The setting is a large square in a city in Europe. A cello player dressed in suit and bow tie stand motionless with his hat on the floor.  A young girl walks towards him and places a coin in the hat.  He starts playing.  Soon another violinist joins him and plays, then another three and more and more until a full orchestra is playing.  The crowd starts gathering and enjoying the music until suddenly the crowd turns into a massive choir that sings in magnificent harmony.  The hair on my arms stood straight up and tears welled up in my eyes at the sheer beauty of this sound.  As we each make the decision to join a co-operation in uplifting the human spirit – together we can be awe inspiring.  It requires individuals (you and me) with a common intention to produce a community that lifts the spirit!

Karin Engman    072 1896951     

Laleli Holistic          Motivational Speaker and Life Coach

Published in the brand new Ermelo Insight/Insig

Leadership 30 July 2013

Leadership   30 July 2013

Each one of us, in perhaps smaller capacity, will be in a position of leadership during his/her life time.  Leadership comes with responsibility and opportunity to bring HOPE. 

As a parent or in a position of teaching, we have the opportunity to cultivate good leadership. The future lies in the hands of the children.  By example we lead but with guidance we teach!

A great leader will have a strong relationship with God and a healthy relationship with him/herself. It requires letting go of the bitterness of the past, to find the sweetness of Spirit.  Here we find a deep sense of peace and optimism as a new light is born out of the circumstances of the past. Like little streams that gather into a river, each one of us can guide and lead our own family, our own community and contribute to a great country.  Each one of us in our small way contributes toward the greater good of all. You are either part of the solution or part of the problem.

A worthy leader is a person with qualities of integrity. A person people look up to and admire. It requires strength and conviction without the expectation of glory. Many of us have developed, through life circumstances, a resistance to authority. With the loss of respect of leaders of the past and present it is time to break the EGO mould and find hope within ourselves as a starting point.  

Find out who you are and be brave enough to be that person, that soul that God has put on this earth. God has created each one of us with gifts and potential. Live your Truth and be at peace with who you are and the rest will come.     

Karin Engman     Life Coach and Motivational Speaker    082 7246985

thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za   www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

The Illusion of Happiness 23 July 2013

The Illusion of Happiness  23 July 2013  

Will winning the Lottery make you happy?  Research shows that it would only be short lived.  Even if we don’t manage to blow it all – we return to our  previous level of happiness/unhappiness sooner rather than later.  Do you see a situation as a ‘problem’ or do you see an ‘opportunity’? This is the ground work of possibilities for real happiness.  The norm seems to be the waiting game: “ if only….then I will be happy”  The greatest percentage of people think they would be happy if money was not an issue, and yes, it would certainly make life much easier.  It is obviously easier to be rich and unhappy than to be poor and unhappy.  Regardless of your financial status, the inability to find enthusiasm towards life and have thoughts of not being alive has very little to do with your bank account.   As Dr Deepak Chopra eloquently puts it:  research shows Happy and Joyful individuals come from a place of strength.  They will make better life choices and hence be healthier, have better relationships and be more successful.

   So then how do we find this ‘happiness’?  The first step: life attitude : problem/opportunity. It is our decision.  The second is choosing to move on from tragedy/hardship.  It is a choice.  Third: Make other people happy – start small, but make an effort. Fourth:  Spiritual Practice.  This is the most important, according to Dr Chopra.

   To me Spiritual practice is about my relationship with God and the effort we put into this relationship every day, not only on the designated one day of the week.   A relationship requires effort every day, with everything you do, with every thought and spoken word. 

   Through spiritual practice and opening my heart, opening my ears and eyes so that I can recognize Him in everything and everyone you encounter!  The result is existential happiness and peace and this is real happiness.  When I know that I am accepted by God, and therefore that I am enough, everything is possible.  It requires faith to know that I am a child of God, created to be just me. With the Grace of God I can be happy and see everything as an opportunity…..only you can make that choice.

Karin Engman    Life Coach and Motivational Speaker

thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za    www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

What other people say 16 July 2013

What other people say Published 16 July 2013 (unedited version)
There are always 3 sides to every story: MY VERSION, YOUR VERSION and THE TRUTH. Making allowances for this will deflate a lot of conflict. I could be totally convinc...ed of my view point and that is all good and well, providing I accept that there may be others who do not agree. To have the conviction of “you are either with me or against me” suffocates any relationship. Apart from the fact that it is extremely disrespectful to the opposing party, It will certainly not reward you with any respect. Trying to live up to others’ expectations and believe others’ know better reflects poor self- worth.
On one of the workshops by Dr John Demartini he demonstrates how living according to others’ values will hold you back from ever becoming the person you are meant to be. By determining the hierarchy of your values you may realize that you are not living in harmony with your own value system but trying to live up to another set of values. This will certainly set you up not only for failure but certain unhappiness and discontentment. It is advised to regularly revise (quarterly according to Dr Demartini) and re-evaluate our values. It requires truth and honesty. Asking yourself a set of questions and looking around our home and work space, will give you the answers as to your present value system. What do you spend your free time on, what do you think about, what inspires you? You might be surprised and be motivated to make some changes.
Are you living according to someone elses’ values? With every change in value comes an identity adjustment and a refinement of direction. It is interesting to look back and to track the evolution of your journey. Step by step you may uncover a person you really like and live a life that feels like “being in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing”!
Karin Engman Life Coach and Motivational Speaker 082 7246985
thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za www.karin-engman.blogspot.comSee More

Laleli

Waardes 9 Julie 2013

Waardes    9 Julie 2013

Elke mens het waardes.  Hoe ons hulle orden en prioriseer is ‘n saak van persoonlike oortuiging.      Party mense neem soos ekstremiste, ‘n baie sterk standpunt oor spesifieke waardes.  Geestelike oortuigings of kinderopvoeding was al die oorsaak van baie familie breuke.

   Dit is uiters belangrik om te besef dat ‘n ander persoon nie noodwendig met jou waarde sisteem  of met die prioriteite daarvan ooreenstem nie.  Die ‘Universal law’ van ‘n basiese reg en verkeerde beginsel is nie hier ter sprake nie.  Waardes is die dieper persoonlike interpretasie daarvan.  As ons in ‘n swart of wit wêreld lewe, word beginsels ‘n oorsaak van baie wrywings.      Oortuigings, veral in familie situasies, blyk tot grotendeels ‘n rede vir ‘n ernstige twis.  As ons mekaar kritiseer en veroordeel oor basiese waardes, is ons in die moeilikheid.  ‘Agree to disagree, but do not judge’.  Slegs God sal oordeel. 

   Elkeen moet verantwoordelikheid neem vir hulle lewe en hulle lewenskeuses, en bereid wees om voor God te staan.  As familie-lede moet ons weet dat ons lief is vir mekaar, ongeag ons verskille in oortuigings.  Ons soek ons vriende uit, maar familie is ons geskenk deur God.     Familie is juis die grootste geleentheid om moeilike lewens lesse te leer.  Die eerste les is onvoorwaardelike liefde vir myself (soos God my lief het) en tweedens onvoorwaardelike liefde vir my naasbestaandes (veral ons familie).  Hier gee God ons die geleentheid om te leer dat ons wel goed genoeg en waardig is.

Karin Engman  

Life Coach and Motivational speaker  

082 7246985

thehummingbird@vodmail.co.za    

www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

True Friendship 2 July 2013

True Friendship    2 July 2013 (unedited)

As we scatter across the country or even the world, years might go by without much contact or visits with a friend. Yet, when you meet again, it seems as though you just pick up where you left off.  True Friendship is an amazing gift that spans across time and distance. 

Last year, I was touched by the effort three school friends made to attend my 50^th birthday party.  Little did we know that one of us would be faced with saying the toughest ‘goodbye’ to loved ones.  Two of us spent the last days with our friend, literally watching her life slip away. As sad as this situation was it brought the opportunity to reconnect our friendship. I realized that even though our lives differ vastly, the friendship had remained unchanged.

It has been a blessing granted in my sadness of the loss of one friend and in that, the rekindling of few others.  As I started making arrangements to attend her funeral, the light bulb moment came to combine a visit with a friend from long ago.  We had not seen each other for many years and yet it seemed like yesterday. With much laughter and some tears, we reminded each other of heart aches, questionable choices and guardian angel protection on our escapades. As heart breaking as it was to bury a friend, watch her devastated family standing at her graveside - she did say: LIFE MUST CARRY ON.

As we hosted and celebrated the Swedish Midsummer, last weekend, we invited a friend from Zanzibar days.  She has a Swedish Life partner and has moved to the Louwveld  recently. What a perfect opportunity  to rekindle this friendship. Even though we had not seen each other for 12 years, It seemed like last year! Long live the Vikings!

The beauty of friendship brings the ease of camaraderie, shared sense of humour, a meeting of intellect, similar taste in the enjoyment of life.  All that is required is a generous heart….

 May we all be gifted with  true friendship!

Karin Engman    Life Coach and Motivational Speaker   082 7246985   

thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za     www.karin.engman.blogspot.com

Farewell my friend 25 June 2013

Farewell my friend…. 25 June 2013

The gift of time, to say last words to a terminally ill friend, gave me much cause for contemplation.  What do you say, how do you say it, leaving no regrets for later.

We had spent three days together talking of school days and remembering individuals in these old photos.  Much laughter as memories popped up of us as teenagers in boarding school. The ache of realization that this would be the last time, yet not daring to discount the possibility of a miracle from God, set in as the day approached to leave. I will cherish the memories forever.  I will remember the clarity in her eyes and the bravery of resolve to be strong.  It touched me deeply. She passed away a few days later with her mother and her husband at her side.

What does a husband say to his wife or a mother to her daughter in those last minutes? No one can prepare you for this moment… you know it is inevitable, yet you are helpless and totally overwhelmed.

As painful as this situation is, it presents an opportunity to say “farewell – you are loved – you will always be remembered”.

I think of all those, that were not granted this precious time – the loved ones that died unexpectedly.  One moment life was the same and the next moment everything changed.     I am grateful that we do not have to make this choice.

The morning came to say goodbye,  these thoughts came to mind: “Gott schenkt und Gott lenkt.  Gott segne Deinen Eingang und Deinen Ausgang.” God gives and God guides.  God blesses your entrance and also your exit.

Our time on earth is limited, that is the only thing we can be certain of. What we do with each day that we are given, is our choice.     

Karin Engman   Life Coach and Motivational Speaker

082 7246985   thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

A new Story Published 18 June 2013

A NEW STORY    18 June 2013

Living in the past is the greatest obstacle to living a full life.  We all have a history of perhaps difficult life circumstances, politics or complicated families – there are so many possibilities. Although it may certainly be a story worthy of telling – to stay stuck there is limiting your potential for a happy and fulfilled life now and in the future.  Life becomes ‘heavy’ as it takes a lot of energy to carry the past with us.  What is even more disturbing, is that many people are carrying the past of their parents and grandparents and continue to hold on to that misery and live a life of anger and blame.  Does your families’ past define who you are today?  Does the fact that your grandparents spent time in a concentration camp or were suffering under apartheid define your identity and control your life?  Although our history can be sad or challenging – how long do we need to keep on living there? Has the price not been paid already?  It does not mean we should forget the sins against humanity nor make light of the past. The past holds many lessons and we should certainly learn these.  There comes a time to let the past be the past and give ourselves and our children a chance of l living life. Find a new story, your story! Letting go of the past is liberating. We have to choose to set ourselves free. Be curious and live with excited anticipation to what God may have in store for you.  I recently watched the movie  “ The best exotic Marigold Hotel”.  I love the “blue sky thinking” concept and “everything will be alright in the end…and if it is not alright it is because it is not yet the end”….. our life should not end in our past – life is too precious! Find a NEW story and live today so that you can look forward to tomorrow!

Karin Engman    082 7246985  thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

Maak vandag nog vrede 11 June 21013

Maak vandag nog vrede       11  Junie 2013      

Noudat ek uiteindelik volwasse is, is ek nog steeds besig om te leer om meer taktvol te wees.   ‘n Mens is taktvol wanneer jy die kuns bemeester het om ‘n standpunt te maak, sonder om ‘n vyand by te kry. 

Taktvol wees is ook die resep vir vrede maak.  Elkeen van ons het verhoudings wat in die ‘laai’ van onvrede lê en wag.  Ons kan wel probeer om dit te ignoreer of dalk te wag vir die ander persoon om tot insienning te kom, dat hulle die skuldige een is.  Terwyl ons wag en alles op krop,  knaag die onvrede aan ons siel en vreet aan ons gesondheid. 

As ons die moed by mekaar kan skraap, is dit uiters belangrik om kalm te bly en die SITUASIE aan te spreek, en nie die persoon aggressief aan te val nie. Dit is meestal die GESINDHEID hoe ons die saak benader, wat ons die reaksie/ resultaat sal gee waarvoor ons gehoop het.  Sodoende kan ons dan ‘n oplossing vind en of die ongelukkigheid laat gaan en die persoon vergewe of self om vergifnis  vra. 

Maak seker jy gee die ander persoon ‘n kans om sy/haar saak te stel en luister na wat hy/sy sê.  Kommunikasie is uiters belangrik.  Wees duidelik oor wat jy hoop om uit die bespreking te kry.  Wees voorberei met positiewe voorstelle en luister na die terugvoer.   As daar nog steeds nie ‘n oplossing gevind is nie en die problem te moeilik of sensitief is, moet ‘n derde party betrek word (wat nie emosioneel betrokke is nie) om te luister na albei kante. 

 Dit verbaas my hoeveel tyd en energie ons spandeer aan die nagevolge van konfrontasie.  Hoe lank na die tyd speel dieselfde woorde wisseling nog in ons gedagtes oor en oor en oor?  Vrede maak plek vir nuwe belewenisse en nuwe verhoudings en bring nuwe lewens energie.    

Vra jouself: is dit werklik belangrik?  As die antwoord ja is, soek ‘n mandjie vol taktvol, praat daaroor en maak vandag nog vrede. 

Karin Engman    082 7246985 

 thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

Precious Time 28 May 2013

Precious Time 28 May 2013 Published in The Tribune (unedited version)

We have all heard or said: “Life is precious”. Today I wonder if we REALLY ‘get’ the meaning of that. I recently visited a school friend of mine who has a life t...hreatening illness and fighting bravely for her life. It broke my heart to witness my friend (the school sport star) who is also a wife/mother/daughter, so desperately trying absolutely everything to stay alive.
Knowing that you might not live much longer, puts a new perspective to each day. What seems like an ordinary day is actually so very precious. What would you do, knowing your time is limited. This friend is writing down all her boys’ favourite recipes, as she might not be around to cook them and spoke about writing a diary to each child saying all the things that have been left unsaid.
I like to think that I do “stop to smell the roses” – but this has brought me to a new level, as a very powerful motivator for mindfulness. I am grateful to my friend for showing me how precious time is. To be aware of the here and now, instead of focusing on the past or the future. Letting go of past hurts and disappointments and recognizing all that we have to be grateful for instead of the negatives. With that we can acknowledge how we got here and also take responsibility for the part we played. Not allowing this to take control of you or your life but to see it with eyes wide open. Acceptance and forgiveness to self and to others sets you free to be fully present in the now.
To be mindful means not allowing life to prevent you from living. To fully experience and enjoy all that we have now. The simple things in life is where the treasure chest of joy is found.
“Time is like a river. You can’t touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed, will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life today!”

Karin Engman Life Coach and Motivational Speaker 082 7246985
thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za www.karin-engman.blogspot.comSee More

Laleli

The Gift of Ermelo 21 May 2013

The Gift of Ermelo     21 May 2013  The Tribune  (unedited)

In nine years of living in Ermelo, I have learnt many things about myself – one big lesson has been about flexibility. Being from German stock – this did not come naturally!  Perhaps boarding school and extensive world travels have also contributed in a positive way.  Married to an ‘outlander’ (“uitlander”) was certainly reason for many a laugh out loud opportunity here!  My dearest people loving husband, who is willing to engage anyone, who has the good fortune  of crossing his path, to discuss the politics of the day.

We recently reminisced about our arrival in 2004, as complete outsiders (not only outlanders) and how Ermelo became our home over time. As the saying goes:  it is not what you know but who you know…..  Life really does work primarily on RELATIONSHIP. Everything you try to achieve begins and succeeds with relationship.  The one ingredient we sorely lacked then.

In our inexperience, we had not taken precautions with making firebreaks on our 9ha property.  That first winter turned into an absolute nightmare. In gale force winds we experienced the horror of a run-away veld fire. Desperate phone calls for help went unanswered.  The fire brigade was busy elsewhere and perhaps most of the farmers too.  Flames literally leaping up four metres or so into the air, jumping  from one tree top to the other and then across the national road.  The noise was unbelievable!  A roar of fire! It was terrifying!  

I will never forget the disbelief that no-one came to help for hours and hours as the flames engulfed the entire field, causing zero visibility on the national road.  The panic of the possible carnage as people barely slowed down for the 100m or so of thick smoke.  Thank God, no one was hurt. 

The ability to accept others as they are and know that it might not be aimed at you personally was a big learning curve for us. One thing I now know for sure today:  It is not always about you(me).  Each person is just getting by – managing their lives to the best of their ability.  Each person comes with their own baggage/ life experiences and behaves accordingly.  It is probably not aimed at you, even if it seems that way.

With kindness is our hearts and the light of God shining in our eyes – treat each person in the way you would like to be treated.

 “People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”
― Mother Teresa

Karin Engman        Life Coach and Motivational speaker               072 1896951

thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za                 www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

Me Myself and I

Me + Myself + I         published in The Tribune 14 May 2013  (unedited version)  

Spending time alone is not a luxury many of us have.  Being a mother, wife, career or other commitments, keeps me on the go-go-go.  To choose (if you can) to spend an evening or a weekend completely alone can be pure bliss – or not.  Does the thought of silence/alone send you into panic? The abstract concept is one thing – to be ALL alone is something else altogether.   How comfortable are you in your own company?

When you know who you are – It’s easier to know what you are about – and ultimately what you really need – do you know? Most of us know very well what we DO NOT want. What is on your list, once you get beyond ‘lots of money’?  What do you really want?   

“Your mind is a garden – Your thoughts are the seeds – You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds”.  What seeds are you sowing?

Introspection is a necessary exercise from time to time – in order to contemplate if you are on the right path in life, requires stillness and serenity.  It is here, that we find the answers to our challenges.  It is here that we can listen to God’s whispers of guidance.  It is here that we reconnect with our truth.  You can’t ask another for the answer to your challenges. The answer lies within you. 

Sometimes CHANGE is required. Changes that only you can make.  When we are presented with opportunity that requires risk – are we willing to take it, or are we dictated by fear?  What if? Instead of grabbing it with both hands, do you freeze and panic?  Do you doubt that you deserve this? It is at this time that we need to step forward with courage. 

Staying in the same safe place is like swimming in a stagnant pool of old water.  We tend to only focus on the small picture of our life and get stuck there, with the limitations we set for ourselves.

I am grateful for the opportunities I am given and am willing to risk making mistakes.  As the saying goes:  Beware NOT taking the risk as that is what will HAUNT us with regret  for the rest of our life!

Karin Engman   072 1896951  thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

www.karin-engman.blogspot.com