My true Purpose

My true purpose   27^th November 2012

When we finally let go of the Utopian Idealism that is created in our minds as to ‘in a perfect world’ and instead look into our innermost depths with clarity and eyes wide open - we find a treasure chest of insights and the possibilities of finding our true life purpose.

   To realise that we no longer need to wait for our life purpose to reveal itself, nor do we need to wait for everything around us to be perfectly in place, because it already is.  The only missing link is, that we need to actually participate in THIS day and in THIS moment.  The spark of recognition ignites as we grasp that all this time I have been standing in my own way of living my true potential.  The delay of waiting and waiting for the right time, if only this or that, then I can do what I am meant to do, which results in a lifetime of waiting.  The time is now – Start today!  Very few of us become all of who we are meant to be in one miraculous flash – for most of us it is a slow uncovering and developing of our true potential and purpose.  There has to be a starting point and there has to be the YES from me.  Nobody can do this for us – we have to put in the efforts required, to water the seeds that have been lying dormant.  Nurturing ourselves as we grow, until we eventually blossom into our true potential.  To say YES to yourself and your true VALUES brings with it a spiritual peace that settles all the anxieties within.  Knowing that I am in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing.  Then we are truly fully alive!  This life enthusiasm filters through to all areas in our lives.  “Die huppel is terug in jou stap!”  The possibilities are endless – this is only the beginning, if you allow it to be.

Karin Engman, Life Coach and Motivational Speaker Ermelo, 072 724 6985, thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za   www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

Living the Truth

Living the Truth    20^th November 2012

The recent Carte Blanche feature on Lance Armstrong simply would not leave my thoughts.  Where do you draw the line and what is the driving force to live a lie?  Professional Sport seems to move the bar of performance higher and higher.  Sports men and women seems to be super humans today!

A few years ago our young daughter asked her dad who his role model was and he said “Lance Armstrong, because he is a cancer survivor and through all his personal trials, he still is a world champion cyclist many times over.”  The dedication and sheer will power this requires is admirable.  Now I ask you:  even with performance enhancing drugs – this achievement is still astounding – the hours required every single day, come rain or shine, is relentless.  Is all that down the toilet now that he is an alleged liar?  We so easily jump on the wagon of condemnation and judgement.  I am not defending the behaviour – I would just like to condemn the sin and not the sinner…..

How much a part of life is LYING in our lives?  To use Lance Armstrong’s aledged lies as a metaphor then.  Does the end result justify the means in business practice, in relationships, in marriage?  To say what the other person wants to hear, in order to get what I want, is also just a lie and deception.  To cover the truth and repeat a lie – does not eventually make it true.

People are not perfect, you and I are not perfect.  Our role models are also humans – to seek perfection is to guarantee yourself disappointment.  Much of my unhappiness in life was caused by disappointment.  Someone once said “Life is not something that is DONE to us – as in a series of events that have been sent to TEST us – we need to recognize our own contribution to each experience”.  My life then, seemed like navigating a volatile ocean, trapped by my EXPECTATIONS and hence repeated DISAPPOINTMENTS. The unhappiness level kept on rising and rising with more and more disappointment.  It was only when I stopped blaming everyone and everything else, that I reached calm waters. It is not pleasant to admit your own faults and short comings, however, we also need to learn to be gentle with ourselves.  “PEOPLE  ARE  DOING  THE  BEST  THEY  CAN WITH  THE  RESOURSES  THEY  HAVE” .   

The saying goes that ‘ you can’t unring a bell’.  While that may be true, you can certainly smother it under a mountain of lies.  Truth rings out like a giant bell  –  calling us again and again, even if we try to ignore it, eventually we will have to listen.

Karin Engman     Life Coach and motivational Speaker      Ermelo

thehummingbird@vodmail.co.za        072 1896951

www.karin-engman.blogspot.com     

Die Gekneusde Appels

Die gekneusde appels        13 November 2012

‘n Perfekte appel wat ek ‘n paar dae gelede as ‘n peuselhappie in my handsak gesit het, was ‘n paar dae later toe ek dit uithaal redelik gekneus.  Onder die appel se skil was die skade duidelik te sien.  Toe ek die appel middel deursny het ek gesien dat die kern gedeelte nog heeltemal perfek lyk.  My afleiding was dat die appel nie vrot was  nie, maar net gekneus en nog volkome eetbaar.

   Elke mens doen ‘kneusplekke’ in die lewe op en party belewenisse los permanente littekens.  Deur ons lewens ervaring en die seer, vorm ons ‘n lewensmening en vandaar neem ons ‘n lewenshouding aan.  Sommige houdings en gedrag beskadig nie net ons fisiese gesondheid nie, maar ook ons kern waarde van ons self.  Ons het almal negatiewe aspekte waarop ons nie trots is nie.  Ons konflik of ongelukkigheid word baie keer op die wat naaste aan ons is uitgehaal en meeste van die tyd blameer ons, ons lewensmaat of ons kollegas by die werk.  “As hierdie persoon net kan verander, dan sal ek gelukkig wees”,  “As ander hulle gedrag verander dan sal alles regkom, ensovoorts.”  As ons aanhou om te wag vir ander – sal die lewe ‘n lang gewag word.  Ons kan niemand verander nie – net ons eie houding en benadering tot ander.  Soos die gesegde sê: “As jy nie die antwoorde / reaksie kry wat jy soek nie, dan moet jy die vraag verander.”

   Dit vat twee mense om ‘n tango te dans.  Daar is altyd meer as een kant van ‘n storie.   Dink aan die persoon wat jou gereeld teleurstel of met hulle gedrag seermaak.  Skei hulle gedrag van wie hulle is as mens.  ‘n Persoon is nie sy gedrag nie.  Hy is ‘n mens soos ek en jy – met sy eie lewensgeskiedenis, seerkry, omstandighede, gevoelens en behoeftes.  Mense reageer vanuit hulle perspektief van realiteit en NIE die realiteit self nie.  Elke mens se realiteit is soos hy of sy dit verstaan of sien.  Elke individu sien die lewe deur sy eie oë – ons moet verstaan en leer dat die uitsig anders lyk vir elkeen. 

Onthou, God maak nie foute nie en elke mens is perfek geskape (die kern van die mens is perfek), dit is die lewe en die omstandighede wat kneusplekke en letsels veroorsaak.  Hoe wonderlik is dit om die mens te sien met al sy kneusplekke en letsels en nog steeds lief te wees vir daardie persoon.  Mense is soveel meer as net hulle gedrag en reaksies!

Karin Engman, Life Coach and Motivation Speaker Ermelo, 072 1896951 

Comments: thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za, www.karin-engma.blogspot.com

Letting Go of the Past

Letting Go of the past     6 November 2012

The pain of the loss of a loved one, the loss of a friendship, a marriage or even your health, brings great challenges.  What could have been yet never really was…. Unfortunately we tend to look for WHO IS AT FAULT?

There is no point in trying to recover what has been. When faced by a significant loss, it feels like a big void has been created.   A wise person once told me “it is best to take advantage of the large space that opens up before us and fill it with something new.”

Experiencing the pain of loss, often brings the questioning of Life. “What did I do to deserve this” – “How could God allow this to happen” etc.  To me it felt like I was standing outside in a thunderstorm, utterly alone.  The pain of loss is an individual experience.   At first it seemed that the well of tears simply would never stop. Gradually, I realized, it was as if my soul was being washed clean by the waters of forgiveness.  Slowly the storm clouds became less intense and my chest opened up to breath in the fresh clean air. In time the tears came less frequent until finally all that is left is a physical ache, which will probably still stay for some time to come.

To find someone to blame for our loss, changes the focus for a little while. In some cultures they believe the guilty shares his/her deeds with everyone that allowed them to commit the crime/wrong doing. When a man is murdered, the person who sold him the weapon is also responsible before God.  When a marriage/family relationship/friendship fails, there is NOT only ONE person to blame. We are all interlinked and all play a part however small in each others’  life dramas.

This brings a fresh perspective of Judgement.  I like the concept of “condemn the sin and not the sinner”.  Who is righteous enough to cast the first stone?

We all have times in our life where the challenging cold wind blows through  - my wish for you, is that you have someone who will light the fire of friendship to see you though when you are navigating turbulent times. We can choose to stay stuck in the past – or we can choose to fill the void with something new and embrace the NOW so that we can look forward to the future.

Karin Engman    Life Coach and Motivational Speaker      Ermelo

 Comments:  thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za     072 1896951 

www.karin-engman.blogspot.com