Letting Go of the past 6 November 2012
The pain of the loss of a loved one, the loss of a friendship, a marriage or even your health, brings great challenges. What could have been yet never really was…. Unfortunately we tend to look for WHO IS AT FAULT?
There is no point in trying to recover what has been. When faced by a significant loss, it feels like a big void has been created. A wise person once told me “it is best to take advantage of the large space that opens up before us and fill it with something new.”
Experiencing the pain of loss, often brings the questioning of Life. “What did I do to deserve this” – “How could God allow this to happen” etc. To me it felt like I was standing outside in a thunderstorm, utterly alone. The pain of loss is an individual experience. At first it seemed that the well of tears simply would never stop. Gradually, I realized, it was as if my soul was being washed clean by the waters of forgiveness. Slowly the storm clouds became less intense and my chest opened up to breath in the fresh clean air. In time the tears came less frequent until finally all that is left is a physical ache, which will probably still stay for some time to come.
To find someone to blame for our loss, changes the focus for a little while. In some cultures they believe the guilty shares his/her deeds with everyone that allowed them to commit the crime/wrong doing. When a man is murdered, the person who sold him the weapon is also responsible before God. When a marriage/family relationship/friendship fails, there is NOT only ONE person to blame. We are all interlinked and all play a part however small in each others’ life dramas.
This brings a fresh perspective of Judgement. I like the concept of “condemn the sin and not the sinner”. Who is righteous enough to cast the first stone?
We all have times in our life where the challenging cold wind blows through - my wish for you, is that you have someone who will light the fire of friendship to see you though when you are navigating turbulent times. We can choose to stay stuck in the past – or we can choose to fill the void with something new and embrace the NOW so that we can look forward to the future.
Karin Engman Life Coach and Motivational Speaker Ermelo
www.karin-engman.blogspot.com
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