Precious Time 28 May 2013

Precious Time 28 May 2013 Published in The Tribune (unedited version)

We have all heard or said: “Life is precious”. Today I wonder if we REALLY ‘get’ the meaning of that. I recently visited a school friend of mine who has a life t...hreatening illness and fighting bravely for her life. It broke my heart to witness my friend (the school sport star) who is also a wife/mother/daughter, so desperately trying absolutely everything to stay alive.
Knowing that you might not live much longer, puts a new perspective to each day. What seems like an ordinary day is actually so very precious. What would you do, knowing your time is limited. This friend is writing down all her boys’ favourite recipes, as she might not be around to cook them and spoke about writing a diary to each child saying all the things that have been left unsaid.
I like to think that I do “stop to smell the roses” – but this has brought me to a new level, as a very powerful motivator for mindfulness. I am grateful to my friend for showing me how precious time is. To be aware of the here and now, instead of focusing on the past or the future. Letting go of past hurts and disappointments and recognizing all that we have to be grateful for instead of the negatives. With that we can acknowledge how we got here and also take responsibility for the part we played. Not allowing this to take control of you or your life but to see it with eyes wide open. Acceptance and forgiveness to self and to others sets you free to be fully present in the now.
To be mindful means not allowing life to prevent you from living. To fully experience and enjoy all that we have now. The simple things in life is where the treasure chest of joy is found.
“Time is like a river. You can’t touch the same water twice, because the flow that has passed, will never pass again. Enjoy every moment of life today!”

Karin Engman Life Coach and Motivational Speaker 082 7246985
thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za www.karin-engman.blogspot.comSee More

Laleli

The Gift of Ermelo 21 May 2013

The Gift of Ermelo     21 May 2013  The Tribune  (unedited)

In nine years of living in Ermelo, I have learnt many things about myself – one big lesson has been about flexibility. Being from German stock – this did not come naturally!  Perhaps boarding school and extensive world travels have also contributed in a positive way.  Married to an ‘outlander’ (“uitlander”) was certainly reason for many a laugh out loud opportunity here!  My dearest people loving husband, who is willing to engage anyone, who has the good fortune  of crossing his path, to discuss the politics of the day.

We recently reminisced about our arrival in 2004, as complete outsiders (not only outlanders) and how Ermelo became our home over time. As the saying goes:  it is not what you know but who you know…..  Life really does work primarily on RELATIONSHIP. Everything you try to achieve begins and succeeds with relationship.  The one ingredient we sorely lacked then.

In our inexperience, we had not taken precautions with making firebreaks on our 9ha property.  That first winter turned into an absolute nightmare. In gale force winds we experienced the horror of a run-away veld fire. Desperate phone calls for help went unanswered.  The fire brigade was busy elsewhere and perhaps most of the farmers too.  Flames literally leaping up four metres or so into the air, jumping  from one tree top to the other and then across the national road.  The noise was unbelievable!  A roar of fire! It was terrifying!  

I will never forget the disbelief that no-one came to help for hours and hours as the flames engulfed the entire field, causing zero visibility on the national road.  The panic of the possible carnage as people barely slowed down for the 100m or so of thick smoke.  Thank God, no one was hurt. 

The ability to accept others as they are and know that it might not be aimed at you personally was a big learning curve for us. One thing I now know for sure today:  It is not always about you(me).  Each person is just getting by – managing their lives to the best of their ability.  Each person comes with their own baggage/ life experiences and behaves accordingly.  It is probably not aimed at you, even if it seems that way.

With kindness is our hearts and the light of God shining in our eyes – treat each person in the way you would like to be treated.

 “People are often unreasonable and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are honest, people may cheat you. Be honest anyway.
If you find happiness, people may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today may be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough. Give your best anyway.
For you see, in the end, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.”
― Mother Teresa

Karin Engman        Life Coach and Motivational speaker               072 1896951

thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za                 www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

Me Myself and I

Me + Myself + I         published in The Tribune 14 May 2013  (unedited version)  

Spending time alone is not a luxury many of us have.  Being a mother, wife, career or other commitments, keeps me on the go-go-go.  To choose (if you can) to spend an evening or a weekend completely alone can be pure bliss – or not.  Does the thought of silence/alone send you into panic? The abstract concept is one thing – to be ALL alone is something else altogether.   How comfortable are you in your own company?

When you know who you are – It’s easier to know what you are about – and ultimately what you really need – do you know? Most of us know very well what we DO NOT want. What is on your list, once you get beyond ‘lots of money’?  What do you really want?   

“Your mind is a garden – Your thoughts are the seeds – You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds”.  What seeds are you sowing?

Introspection is a necessary exercise from time to time – in order to contemplate if you are on the right path in life, requires stillness and serenity.  It is here, that we find the answers to our challenges.  It is here that we can listen to God’s whispers of guidance.  It is here that we reconnect with our truth.  You can’t ask another for the answer to your challenges. The answer lies within you. 

Sometimes CHANGE is required. Changes that only you can make.  When we are presented with opportunity that requires risk – are we willing to take it, or are we dictated by fear?  What if? Instead of grabbing it with both hands, do you freeze and panic?  Do you doubt that you deserve this? It is at this time that we need to step forward with courage. 

Staying in the same safe place is like swimming in a stagnant pool of old water.  We tend to only focus on the small picture of our life and get stuck there, with the limitations we set for ourselves.

I am grateful for the opportunities I am given and am willing to risk making mistakes.  As the saying goes:  Beware NOT taking the risk as that is what will HAUNT us with regret  for the rest of our life!

Karin Engman   072 1896951  thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

The Hummingbird 7 May 2013

The Hummingbird    7 May 2013

It is said that our physical appearance represents our inner world. This spans across the way I present myself to the world (make up/ hair/ clothing) to what is reflected in my eyes and in my smile and the general shape I am in (fitness). 

Painful life events can be avoided for a while, in order to just cope with day to day living. Our physical appearance will eventually show just how we are ‘coping’.  

Ultimately this is a gage of self-value/worth. We may be guided and prompted and on some level we KNOW, but disregard and ignore this. Without unconditional forgiveness, the river of love cannot flow through us, and we cannot heal our pain, so it simply ‘dams’ up.

I recently watched a documentary about Hummingbirds. The incredible precision of manoeuvring between flowers is simply awesome.  This tiny beautiful bird can choose any direction to fly/hover – up/down/back or forward. It reminded me, that we also always have choice.   Where do we go from here – today?  Are we flexible and courageous enough to move in the direction we need to, in order to become whole again? In my heart, I have noticed acceptance, breaking like the dawn of a new day, in all its splendour. When we find that place of unconditional love and forgiveness, we are able to experience a renewal of the magic, that living life and love has to offer, beyond loss and tragedy.

The Hummingbird represents JOY – as we simply stay still in gratitude, just for this moment! Your Will, not mine, will be done.

Karin Engman    072 7246985   thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

Lewens Uitdagings 30 April 2013

Lewens-uitdagings   Published  30 April 2013

Vandag weet ek dat all die swaarkry en ongelukkigheid in my verlede ‘n doel gehad het.  Deur my eie belewenisse het ek gegroei en belangrike lesse geleer. 

   As ons binne in die ‘seer’ is, kan dit moeilik wees om die ‘lig’ te sien.  Eers later as ons terugkyk gaan die liggie aan en verstaan ons die les.  God maak nie foute nie – deur ons lewenskeuses moet ons partykeer meer as eenkeer seer kry en swoeg, totdat ons uiteindelik leer en groei.  Hoe meer uitdagings ons belewe, hoe sterker word ons.  Dit is hoe ons leer wie ons werklik is.  Ons kan nie ander mense as ons maatstaf gebruik nie – net ons eie. 

   Deurdat ons foute maak leer ons wat om nie te herhaal nie en wat nie goed is vir ons as individu nie.  As ons ‘n positiewe reaksie op die uitdagings het – kry ons meer moed om ander uitdagings dapper tegemoet te gaan.  So kan ons met trots ons eie maatstawwe implementeer en sterk en regop met skouers terug, kop omhoog, elke dag verwelkom.  Dit gee ons self beeld aanmoediging en trots om eg te wees teenoor jou eie beginsels.  Dan begin die ‘jigsaw puzzle’ van wie ons werklik is, mooi pas.

Karin Engman   

072 7246985   

thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

www.karin‑engman.blogspot.com

Letting Go 23 April 2013

Letting Go…..   23 April 2013

I watched “The Life of Pi” for the second time yesterday and it touched me once again.  It is the most beautiful movie I have seen in a very long time.  I love the way he wants to practice every religion in his search for God and yet in the end stays true to his roots.  Demonstrating the importance of establishing a living relationship with God, that will carry us through life. The perseverance and bravery of this young man is truly inspirational.

With the loss of my beloved brother, in such tragic circumstances, I recognized the pain expressed by Pi, as he was being carried off from the beach, sand stuck to his face and wailing like a child. I remember that so well.  “Richard Parker left me so unceremoniously and this broke my heart”.

What hurts the most with a sudden and unexpected death is that we are deprived of a moment to say goodbye.   

“In the end the whole of life becomes an act of letting go”.  Letting go of our expectations.  Letting go of our disappointments.  Letting go of what we believe is supposed to be.

I find peace in my belief, that those who have passed are still with us in spirit – for as long as they are needed.

I light a white candle of peace today, for all those who still carry the pain of the loss of a loved one – may you find acceptance, forgiveness and be able to let go.

Karin Engman   072 7246985    thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

www. karin-engman.blogspot.com