Wish upon a Star

Wish upon a Star  - published 28^th August 2012

On my SABATICAL in the early 90’s I worked and lived as a Scuba Diving Instructor all over the world.  It may seem to be a carefree life to some, but in all honesty, most of the people in this kind of lifestyle are wounded souls. I packed up my life in South Africa and enrolled in a 6 month Scuba Instructor training program on the East Coast of Australia.  It was a relief to know that the “tannie” factor did not apply in Oz as I was much older than most of the students!

I worked on a live aboard sail boat as the cook and cleaner to earn extra money during my training.  In my “search” for the meaning of life and making sense of my life situation, I spent many hours gazing at the stars. At the time I was painfully disillusioned with Life. Anchored off one of the Whitsundays Islands on the East Coast, with no interfering electric lights, I reconnected with God. Feeling like a speck of dust yet certain that God knows ‘Little’ me, was a truly spiritual experience.  Gazing at the night sky is still one of my favourite things to do. Shooting Stars to be wished upon – and twinkle-twinkle dreams to be dreamed.

Nothing remains stagnant in Life except dirty pools of water!  Change is constant and change can be very beneficial.  The challenge is NOT to go into FEAR of change, but to embrace it.  Sometimes it is hard to say good-bye to the old and to let go of things that have become familiar.  Our OLD habits can actually weight us down and no longer serve our best interest.  Remember, if we do not let go of the OLD there is no room for the NEW. We all need some personal ‘spring cleaning’ from time to time. 

Once you have done what you need to do to facilitate the unfolding of your dream – then you need to LET GO AND LET GOD. Then, we can finally stop waiting...........and SIMPLY LIVE! Live TODAY – if we wait for everything to be right – we will spend our entire life waiting............we need to have FAITH and TRUST and then JUST LIVE!

Just for today let go of your impatience.  Just for today let go of your angry thoughts.  Just for today try to smile at a stranger.  Just for today do something without reward. Just for today...........

We do not need to understand or know all the answers. When we try to control the outcome we tend to mostly get in the way – knowing that we are NOT ‘in charge’ - takes a lot of pressure off – we turn our faces up, breath and allow God. 

IF YOU GIVE YOUR ALL THEN YOU HAVE ALREADY WON!

Karin Engman      Life Coach     Motivational Speaking       
For appointments:  072 1896951      Ermelo 

For Comments:  thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

Changing Gears - Verwissel van Rat

Verwissel van rat – maak n verandering! (Changing Gears)

Om elke dag in die selfde roetiene te wees maak die Lewe tog so vervelig. Dis amper asof ons vashaak!  Om IETS n bietjie anders te doen is eintlik nie baie moeilik nie.  Ons is meeste van die tyd  net gewoonte gebonde.  n Klein daaglikse taak soos tande borsel met jou ander hand – is al n klein manier om jou gewoonte gebonde brein te oorreed om verandering in jou daaglikse lewe toe te laat en te aanvaar. Dit verg nog steeds n gewilligheid om  te verander en nie te wag dat todat ANDER mense verander nie.  As ons ongelukkig voel, is dit nodig om bereid te wees om veranderings  te implimenteer, al is dit ook ooenskynlik onbelangrik of minimaal.

Jy sal nie weet dat jy iets kan verander in jou lewe as jy dit nie prober nie!  Dit kan beteken dat dit noodsaaklik is om uit ons gemaksone te tree en die risiko te nee mom iets heeltemal anders te probeer. Dit is altyd ons keuse om weer terug te gaan na die ou gewoontes – maar wie weet – miskien hou ons van die verandering in plaas van die groef waar ons was? 

Snaaks dat ons liewer in DIE gewoontes bly wat ons ken, al maak dit ons ongemaklik en ongelukkig.  Ons praat baie en kla baie, maar volgende jaar kyk ons terug en is nog steeds in die selfde situasie. Ons omstandighede wat ons ongelukking maak egin om te klink soos n plaat wat vas gehaak het.  Ja nou gee ek my ouderdom weg – miskien is dit deesdae soos jou selfoon of rekenaar wat vries? Dan sit ons magteloos daar met die stand van sake en sink ons net dieper in ons ellende terwyl ons wag dat ander mense verander? 

Die moontlikheid bestaan dat eindlik iets baie opwindend en nuut op ons wag as ons dit net waag om die stap te neem. Angs is n baie sterk emosie en die redenasie van negatiewe gevolge kan ons baie keer oorreed om liewer by die ou gewoontes en lewenswyse te bly, al is ons diep ongelukkig.

Veranderings kan aan die begin n bietjie ongemaklik en vreemd voel.  As ons onself toelaat om die opwindende gevoel van verandering te geniet sal die Angs begin verminders.  Binne n kort tyd sal ons nie eers glo dat ons so lank gewag het om DIE stap te neem nie.  Niemand anders kan dit vir jou doen nie. Jy moet die besluit self neem en dan RATTE VERANDER.  Jy kan n rat op gaan en jou pas n bitjie versnel of n rat af gaan en sodoende spoed verminder om meer gemaklik te ‘cruise’.

Sodra die ‘nuwe’ gevoel van lewenslus begin om in jou binneste te ontdooi – kan ons begin ontspan en die self- vertroue en self versekerheid te laat blom.  Later kan ons terug kyk en die vordering in ons lewe met trots en nuwe lewensmoed verwelkom. 

Soos Walt Disney gese het:  “As jy dit kan droom, dan kan jy dit doen”

Maak n klein verandering in jou lewe vandag en kyk wat gebeur!

Karin Engman        Life Coach  & Motivational speaker    074 1896951 (Ermelo)

Comments:  thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

Oscars to all the Great Pretenders

Oscars to all the Great Pretenders – published 14/8/12

Life requires a little pretence in various situations – we need to have some brain to mouth filters in place in order to keep some resemblances of civilized behaviour.  You cannot simply speak your mind as the thought enters your head – that would be chaotic.  I know some people who seem to have very limited filters in place and spend a lot of time apologizing or eventually growing rhino skin and simply not caring.  This is not the pretence I am so intrigued by.

I have watched married couples pretend, at least publicly, to the extent that I would award scars to both parties.  Personally I wish I had a little more ability to put up the perfect front.  As the saying goes: “Smile and wave boys, smile and wave”.  You could say that I wear my heart on my sleeve – probably often to my own detriment – but that is who I am.  To pretend takes all my maturity liquidized and squeezed into a tube and literally holding onto the lid to keep it contained.  In certain instances, i.e. Family, it is required – for the sake of peace.  Although I am sure that I am perfectly transparent.

I recently experienced the real deal of “between a rock and a hard place” To call this situation the “GREAT PRETENCE” of all recent times, felt like an understatement.

How many people live a daily life of Pretence?  How deep does DENIAL of the TRUTH go?  Eventually it seems that it cultivates an ability to bypass reality and exist on what is perceived as wishful thinking or is it survival?  For the sake of the children.  For the sake of financial implications.  For the sake of the parents.  For the sake of the society.  For the sake of work/career.  For the sake of WHAT?

The price seems awfully high – being in a constant state of STRESS and ANXIETY is a sure recipe for ILLNESS.  A constant state of FEAR manifests in FURY AND ANGER.  How can anyone survive when you have to keep up this PRETENCE?  Emotionally and Spiritually you must surely eventually DIE.  To be physically alive can only be the SHELL of who you are, the real YOU cannot exist in this space.

There are no winners in THE GAME OF THE GREAT PRETENTER, only LOOSERS.  Everyone loses – the children, the parents, the friends and MOST IMPORTANTLY by keeping up the PRETENCE you will have to give up YOU!

God did not make a mistake when he created you, YOU are meant to be YOU!

Dan Millman quotes: “If you don’t get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don’t want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can’t hold on to it forever.  Your mind is your predicament.  It wants to be free of change.  Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death, but change is law, and no amount of PRENTENDING will alter that reality.

Karin Engman

www.karin-blogspot.com

Educated Risk

   

Educated Risk or Life Long Remorse – published 7^th August 2012

Last week, driving home, I stopped at the Post Office intersection, the traffic light turned green for me.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw movement   (or was it my guardian angel tapping on my shoulder?). I turned to look, just in time, to see a bakkie coming towards me, with obviously no intention to stop.  He drove straight through what was a red light for him. The collision would not have been my fault – yet the injury severe or even fatal. What if  - What if – What if? We can all be slightly distracted while driving, especially with children in the car –  even if you are the worlds’ most careful driver?

 S P E E D!!!  CELL PHONES!!! ARE YOUR CHILDREN WEARING SEAT BELTS????

 Google:  “crash test children”

Ermelo must rate RIGHT UP THERE with lawless Drivers of South Africa and the main culprit is SPEED and CELL PHONES.

We have just spent a month in Sweden (yes, I am married to the Viking who came riding over the hill….). It always takes a few weeks for me to come to terms with the FEAR of driving in this country. It is in my humble opinion, that it’s not the lack of education or economy – it is a simple matter of ENFORCEMENT. South Africans believe the law applies to OTHER people – THEM.  Swedes know that there is simply no point in speeding, drinking and driving, and they stop at a STOP sign – violation of that seemingly silly law can cost your license. It is after all a STOP sign and not a YIELD.  Some hurried and impatient drivers I meet on the way to school, barely slow down, in fact I worry that I am going to get rear ended because I stop! Yielding seems to be the order of the day – since you can see there is no car coming anyway…..

This is one of a number of lawlessness aspects of South Africa requiring me to return to my balance sheet pinned to my VISION board in the office.

REASONS  I  STAY IN SOUTH AFRICA!  1.  Blue Sky    2.   Sun shine     3. Family   4.  African Blood in my Veins  5. Lifestyle and many many more reasons…….                              – allow me to digress.….. In Sweden they have these little automated lawnmowers in every second garden, the size of our vacuum cleaners. This machine runs around the garden cutting the lawn, day and night, rain or shine.  It has an under-cover charger – which it returns to when the battery runs low.  It is SO common that you have road signs everywhere, warning motorists of possible escaped lawnmowers roaming the streets.  Anyway – I think I prefer Jabu – he is a faithful soul, always smiles and he chops firewood and prunes the roses. My father-in-law (zero English) even sent greetings to Jabu on our departure…..Yes, we are here to stay! The lawless driving concerns me very much - I fear mostly for the children.  Adults seem to wear safety belts and have airbags to protect on impact – WHAT IS PROTECTING YOUR CHILDREN?????? Educated people driving fancy cars with up to three of their precious children not strapped in!  I beg you – think about what risk you are taking. Even driving two blocks – all it takes is one speeding driver who misses that red light!!

Personally I have had two near death experiences – one by a Sand Truck coming at me at high speed with the drivers attention on his phone, looking up in the nick of time – I wobbled for the rest of the day, and spent a few days contemplating how it would be for my eight year old daughter to grow up without her mom.  Another incident, a big expensive vehicle drove straight through a stop street, missing me narrowly.

ARE YOUR CHILDREN WEARING SEAT BELTS????????

Unfortunately the Human race does not comply with the LAW because it is the right thing to do.  I have also experienced the law abiding Australian culture – “WHY” you ask, do some cultures abide by the law?  Because the consequences are serious – and they are ENFORCED!  For some reason we seem to think that the rules apply to others because I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING? Sound familiar?????? OR…… “THEY” all do it – so why shouldn’t I?

Today I APPEAL to all of you that have the privilege of transporting children.  Please, PLEASE – if for no other reason, imagine the remorse and the pain and the guilt if your children or God forbid your friends’ children are in your car without safety belts in a collision. Do not let this become a LIFE REGRET.

This is NOT about your driving skills or how careful you are – this is about the other person skipping a stop street or a red traffic light and colliding with you and your children. It is called and ACCIDENT – it does not need to be your fault.  NOBODY is EXEMPT – it does not matter how educated or rich you are OR NOT – the percentages in this country are one of the highest in the world.  YOU CAN NOT IGNORE IT! 

The links below are proof of what happens to children in a car at 30mph –  now I ask you – how many people drive within speed limits?  The car that nearly collided with you – was that at 30mph????? THIRTY MILES PER HOUR – that is about 50 km per hour – BELOW speed limit.

http://youtu.be/K6tsgzFvVI0

 http://www.youtube.com/embed/9CsUSTWjtHQ

By the GRACE of GOD THERE GO I   -  

I bought a wood carving in Sweden that says:  “Don’t live faster than what your Guardian Angel can fly”

LIFE IS GOD’S GIFT TO YOU – how you CHOOSE to Live it is your GIFT TO GOD

Karin Engman        Loss & Trauma Councelling          

Bioscience Centre   Ermelo     072 1896951

Comments:  thehummingbird@vodamail.co.zas