Oscars to all the Great Pretenders

Oscars to all the Great Pretenders – published 14/8/12

Life requires a little pretence in various situations – we need to have some brain to mouth filters in place in order to keep some resemblances of civilized behaviour.  You cannot simply speak your mind as the thought enters your head – that would be chaotic.  I know some people who seem to have very limited filters in place and spend a lot of time apologizing or eventually growing rhino skin and simply not caring.  This is not the pretence I am so intrigued by.

I have watched married couples pretend, at least publicly, to the extent that I would award scars to both parties.  Personally I wish I had a little more ability to put up the perfect front.  As the saying goes: “Smile and wave boys, smile and wave”.  You could say that I wear my heart on my sleeve – probably often to my own detriment – but that is who I am.  To pretend takes all my maturity liquidized and squeezed into a tube and literally holding onto the lid to keep it contained.  In certain instances, i.e. Family, it is required – for the sake of peace.  Although I am sure that I am perfectly transparent.

I recently experienced the real deal of “between a rock and a hard place” To call this situation the “GREAT PRETENCE” of all recent times, felt like an understatement.

How many people live a daily life of Pretence?  How deep does DENIAL of the TRUTH go?  Eventually it seems that it cultivates an ability to bypass reality and exist on what is perceived as wishful thinking or is it survival?  For the sake of the children.  For the sake of financial implications.  For the sake of the parents.  For the sake of the society.  For the sake of work/career.  For the sake of WHAT?

The price seems awfully high – being in a constant state of STRESS and ANXIETY is a sure recipe for ILLNESS.  A constant state of FEAR manifests in FURY AND ANGER.  How can anyone survive when you have to keep up this PRETENCE?  Emotionally and Spiritually you must surely eventually DIE.  To be physically alive can only be the SHELL of who you are, the real YOU cannot exist in this space.

There are no winners in THE GAME OF THE GREAT PRETENTER, only LOOSERS.  Everyone loses – the children, the parents, the friends and MOST IMPORTANTLY by keeping up the PRETENCE you will have to give up YOU!

God did not make a mistake when he created you, YOU are meant to be YOU!

Dan Millman quotes: “If you don’t get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don’t want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can’t hold on to it forever.  Your mind is your predicament.  It wants to be free of change.  Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death, but change is law, and no amount of PRENTENDING will alter that reality.

Karin Engman

www.karin-blogspot.com