The Illusion of Happiness 23 July 2013

The Illusion of Happiness  23 July 2013  

Will winning the Lottery make you happy?  Research shows that it would only be short lived.  Even if we don’t manage to blow it all – we return to our  previous level of happiness/unhappiness sooner rather than later.  Do you see a situation as a ‘problem’ or do you see an ‘opportunity’? This is the ground work of possibilities for real happiness.  The norm seems to be the waiting game: “ if only….then I will be happy”  The greatest percentage of people think they would be happy if money was not an issue, and yes, it would certainly make life much easier.  It is obviously easier to be rich and unhappy than to be poor and unhappy.  Regardless of your financial status, the inability to find enthusiasm towards life and have thoughts of not being alive has very little to do with your bank account.   As Dr Deepak Chopra eloquently puts it:  research shows Happy and Joyful individuals come from a place of strength.  They will make better life choices and hence be healthier, have better relationships and be more successful.

   So then how do we find this ‘happiness’?  The first step: life attitude : problem/opportunity. It is our decision.  The second is choosing to move on from tragedy/hardship.  It is a choice.  Third: Make other people happy – start small, but make an effort. Fourth:  Spiritual Practice.  This is the most important, according to Dr Chopra.

   To me Spiritual practice is about my relationship with God and the effort we put into this relationship every day, not only on the designated one day of the week.   A relationship requires effort every day, with everything you do, with every thought and spoken word. 

   Through spiritual practice and opening my heart, opening my ears and eyes so that I can recognize Him in everything and everyone you encounter!  The result is existential happiness and peace and this is real happiness.  When I know that I am accepted by God, and therefore that I am enough, everything is possible.  It requires faith to know that I am a child of God, created to be just me. With the Grace of God I can be happy and see everything as an opportunity…..only you can make that choice.

Karin Engman    Life Coach and Motivational Speaker

thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za    www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

What other people say 16 July 2013

What other people say Published 16 July 2013 (unedited version)
There are always 3 sides to every story: MY VERSION, YOUR VERSION and THE TRUTH. Making allowances for this will deflate a lot of conflict. I could be totally convinc...ed of my view point and that is all good and well, providing I accept that there may be others who do not agree. To have the conviction of “you are either with me or against me” suffocates any relationship. Apart from the fact that it is extremely disrespectful to the opposing party, It will certainly not reward you with any respect. Trying to live up to others’ expectations and believe others’ know better reflects poor self- worth.
On one of the workshops by Dr John Demartini he demonstrates how living according to others’ values will hold you back from ever becoming the person you are meant to be. By determining the hierarchy of your values you may realize that you are not living in harmony with your own value system but trying to live up to another set of values. This will certainly set you up not only for failure but certain unhappiness and discontentment. It is advised to regularly revise (quarterly according to Dr Demartini) and re-evaluate our values. It requires truth and honesty. Asking yourself a set of questions and looking around our home and work space, will give you the answers as to your present value system. What do you spend your free time on, what do you think about, what inspires you? You might be surprised and be motivated to make some changes.
Are you living according to someone elses’ values? With every change in value comes an identity adjustment and a refinement of direction. It is interesting to look back and to track the evolution of your journey. Step by step you may uncover a person you really like and live a life that feels like “being in the right place, at the right time, doing the right thing”!
Karin Engman Life Coach and Motivational Speaker 082 7246985
thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za www.karin-engman.blogspot.comSee More

Laleli

Waardes 9 Julie 2013

Waardes    9 Julie 2013

Elke mens het waardes.  Hoe ons hulle orden en prioriseer is ‘n saak van persoonlike oortuiging.      Party mense neem soos ekstremiste, ‘n baie sterk standpunt oor spesifieke waardes.  Geestelike oortuigings of kinderopvoeding was al die oorsaak van baie familie breuke.

   Dit is uiters belangrik om te besef dat ‘n ander persoon nie noodwendig met jou waarde sisteem  of met die prioriteite daarvan ooreenstem nie.  Die ‘Universal law’ van ‘n basiese reg en verkeerde beginsel is nie hier ter sprake nie.  Waardes is die dieper persoonlike interpretasie daarvan.  As ons in ‘n swart of wit wêreld lewe, word beginsels ‘n oorsaak van baie wrywings.      Oortuigings, veral in familie situasies, blyk tot grotendeels ‘n rede vir ‘n ernstige twis.  As ons mekaar kritiseer en veroordeel oor basiese waardes, is ons in die moeilikheid.  ‘Agree to disagree, but do not judge’.  Slegs God sal oordeel. 

   Elkeen moet verantwoordelikheid neem vir hulle lewe en hulle lewenskeuses, en bereid wees om voor God te staan.  As familie-lede moet ons weet dat ons lief is vir mekaar, ongeag ons verskille in oortuigings.  Ons soek ons vriende uit, maar familie is ons geskenk deur God.     Familie is juis die grootste geleentheid om moeilike lewens lesse te leer.  Die eerste les is onvoorwaardelike liefde vir myself (soos God my lief het) en tweedens onvoorwaardelike liefde vir my naasbestaandes (veral ons familie).  Hier gee God ons die geleentheid om te leer dat ons wel goed genoeg en waardig is.

Karin Engman  

Life Coach and Motivational speaker  

082 7246985

thehummingbird@vodmail.co.za    

www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

True Friendship 2 July 2013

True Friendship    2 July 2013 (unedited)

As we scatter across the country or even the world, years might go by without much contact or visits with a friend. Yet, when you meet again, it seems as though you just pick up where you left off.  True Friendship is an amazing gift that spans across time and distance. 

Last year, I was touched by the effort three school friends made to attend my 50^th birthday party.  Little did we know that one of us would be faced with saying the toughest ‘goodbye’ to loved ones.  Two of us spent the last days with our friend, literally watching her life slip away. As sad as this situation was it brought the opportunity to reconnect our friendship. I realized that even though our lives differ vastly, the friendship had remained unchanged.

It has been a blessing granted in my sadness of the loss of one friend and in that, the rekindling of few others.  As I started making arrangements to attend her funeral, the light bulb moment came to combine a visit with a friend from long ago.  We had not seen each other for many years and yet it seemed like yesterday. With much laughter and some tears, we reminded each other of heart aches, questionable choices and guardian angel protection on our escapades. As heart breaking as it was to bury a friend, watch her devastated family standing at her graveside - she did say: LIFE MUST CARRY ON.

As we hosted and celebrated the Swedish Midsummer, last weekend, we invited a friend from Zanzibar days.  She has a Swedish Life partner and has moved to the Louwveld  recently. What a perfect opportunity  to rekindle this friendship. Even though we had not seen each other for 12 years, It seemed like last year! Long live the Vikings!

The beauty of friendship brings the ease of camaraderie, shared sense of humour, a meeting of intellect, similar taste in the enjoyment of life.  All that is required is a generous heart….

 May we all be gifted with  true friendship!

Karin Engman    Life Coach and Motivational Speaker   082 7246985   

thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za     www.karin.engman.blogspot.com