Two Faces

Two Faces   30 October 2012

In the past, I was insecure enough to question from time to time if the REAL ME was enough.  It typically came about when someone who I admire or regard highly, or love (as in family) said something or behaved in such a way that I would interpret it as criticism or even ridicule. This can be hurtful on the deepest level and leave scars that remain unhealed or take years to mend.  In self-defence we create masks….

As Hamlet said to Ophelia: “God has given you one face and you make yourself another?”

 As we establish ourselves in the world, we probably take on many ‘faces’. We judge ourselves by the reaction we see, hear and feel from others and adjust our ‘faces’ until we feel comfortable with how the world views us.

The battle between these two halves of identity is: Who we are and who we pretend to be. Just as there are two (or more) sides to every story – there are two (or more) sides to every person. One that we reveal to the world and another that we keep hidden inside.

Within each of us is the capacity for both good and bad.  But those who are able to uphold the moral dividing line and truth, are the true winners.

It is impossible to uphold that person that lives with two (or more) faces. Along the way you will get lost in the web of self-deceit, pretence and masks to fit every occasion.  This will make for an exhausting life.  What is more – it will require careful notes and check lists to be able to uphold all the faces you will need to interchange as you go along.

A true and worthy relationship requires the revelation of both sides – only once we come ‘clean’ and own our negative aspects of ourselves are we able to change.

A wise person once told me “you recognize that which you so dislike about yourself in those nearest and dearest to you – it is referred to as a Life Mirror”.  Pay attention to that which ‘pushes’ your buttons in others behaviour – that which SO irritates or annoys you – it may be something you need to work on yourself.

When we stop judging others - we will feel less judged.  Then we can learn to love the face that God gave us and find acceptance and courage to be who we were intended to be.

Karin Engman    Life Coach and Motivational Speaker       Ermelo

072 1896951    thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za