A Plus inside a circle of brotherhood
During my recent visit to a local hair dressing salon, part of the conversation was related to a daughter’s impending marriage to an English speaking, much liked and also approved of, young man. A comment by the mother of the bride, gave me some food for thought. She was of the opinion that the English had far less ‘baggage’ than the Afrikaners. Hence this groom to be seemed so ‘easy going and uncomplicated’. Be that as it may – it got me thinking… Culturally you could probably find reasons for ‘baggage’ if you went back far enough in history, with every nation under the sun. I myself, being of German heritage, was taught at the German High School I attended (strictly one teacher related), that it was expected of us to feel guilt (for the rest of our lives) about the crimes committed against humanity by the Germans, in the second world war. To aggravate matters my ‘clan’ (South African German Speaking) supported Hitler’s efforts. As though this burden was not enough, I also am a white South African born in the early sixties. Once I grasped the horrors of apartheid, I should as a white person, carry guilt towards the wrong doings of this regime? My burden of guilt simply by birth, was getting to back breaking proportions. Hence, for many years, I adopted the, “I could care less about the sins of my father’s and my father’s father’s,” attitude, which needless to say, is of course impossible!
I back packed through Europe in the mid-eighties and noticed very soon how unpopular a South African pink skin was. So much so, that a rather large intimidating African American scared the living daylights out of me in Pamplona, yelling unprintable abuse at me and then spitting a spectacular specimen at my feet. In self-preservation, I adopted an Australian accent and repertoire post haste, until I met a ‘pack’ of big South Africans and attached myself to them as travel companions.
Simply by factor of heritage – much of any history has the makings of baggage. Mostly this heavy sack ends up being filled with anger towards a perceived perpetrator. To flounder around in a mud pool of accusations brings nothing worthwhile except perhaps the mineral benefits for your complexion. There comes a time when you need to step out of that mess, clean yourself up, take responsibility for your part in it and start contributing instead of waiting for the pay-out for all the wrongs committed against you. “Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred,” Martin Luther King Jr. A recent gift I received epitomizes this gesture of making peace with the past and also embracing life now - it is large plate with writing in a plus sign format (vertical and horizontal), it reads: “This plate symbolises an offering or a gift. It holds the food, love, protection, nourishment, sacrifices and care a parent, leader, host or lover offers another. The even-sided cross symbolises a meeting place, a crossing of paths or a sacred gathering, an event or location where people feast, celebrate, mourn, reminisce or worship together. A ‘CROSS INSIDE A CIRCLE’ symbolises prosperity and a long life. It is also the traditional and scientific symbol for Planet Earth. The Gift of the connection from God to earth and then across human to human is a requirement of survival. Without the ‘above to below’ it would only be a minus sign – let us all try to rather be a plus factor in our life/society/earth. “We have learned to fly the air like birds and swim the sea like fish, but we have not learned the simple art of living together as brothers,” Martin Luther King Jr.
Karin Engman, Life Coach and Motivational Speaker Ermelo, 072 1896951,
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