Me Myself and I

Me + Myself + I         published in The Tribune 14 May 2013  (unedited version)  

Spending time alone is not a luxury many of us have.  Being a mother, wife, career or other commitments, keeps me on the go-go-go.  To choose (if you can) to spend an evening or a weekend completely alone can be pure bliss – or not.  Does the thought of silence/alone send you into panic? The abstract concept is one thing – to be ALL alone is something else altogether.   How comfortable are you in your own company?

When you know who you are – It’s easier to know what you are about – and ultimately what you really need – do you know? Most of us know very well what we DO NOT want. What is on your list, once you get beyond ‘lots of money’?  What do you really want?   

“Your mind is a garden – Your thoughts are the seeds – You can grow flowers or you can grow weeds”.  What seeds are you sowing?

Introspection is a necessary exercise from time to time – in order to contemplate if you are on the right path in life, requires stillness and serenity.  It is here, that we find the answers to our challenges.  It is here that we can listen to God’s whispers of guidance.  It is here that we reconnect with our truth.  You can’t ask another for the answer to your challenges. The answer lies within you. 

Sometimes CHANGE is required. Changes that only you can make.  When we are presented with opportunity that requires risk – are we willing to take it, or are we dictated by fear?  What if? Instead of grabbing it with both hands, do you freeze and panic?  Do you doubt that you deserve this? It is at this time that we need to step forward with courage. 

Staying in the same safe place is like swimming in a stagnant pool of old water.  We tend to only focus on the small picture of our life and get stuck there, with the limitations we set for ourselves.

I am grateful for the opportunities I am given and am willing to risk making mistakes.  As the saying goes:  Beware NOT taking the risk as that is what will HAUNT us with regret  for the rest of our life!

Karin Engman   072 1896951  thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

The Hummingbird 7 May 2013

The Hummingbird    7 May 2013

It is said that our physical appearance represents our inner world. This spans across the way I present myself to the world (make up/ hair/ clothing) to what is reflected in my eyes and in my smile and the general shape I am in (fitness). 

Painful life events can be avoided for a while, in order to just cope with day to day living. Our physical appearance will eventually show just how we are ‘coping’.  

Ultimately this is a gage of self-value/worth. We may be guided and prompted and on some level we KNOW, but disregard and ignore this. Without unconditional forgiveness, the river of love cannot flow through us, and we cannot heal our pain, so it simply ‘dams’ up.

I recently watched a documentary about Hummingbirds. The incredible precision of manoeuvring between flowers is simply awesome.  This tiny beautiful bird can choose any direction to fly/hover – up/down/back or forward. It reminded me, that we also always have choice.   Where do we go from here – today?  Are we flexible and courageous enough to move in the direction we need to, in order to become whole again? In my heart, I have noticed acceptance, breaking like the dawn of a new day, in all its splendour. When we find that place of unconditional love and forgiveness, we are able to experience a renewal of the magic, that living life and love has to offer, beyond loss and tragedy.

The Hummingbird represents JOY – as we simply stay still in gratitude, just for this moment! Your Will, not mine, will be done.

Karin Engman    072 7246985   thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

Lewens Uitdagings 30 April 2013

Lewens-uitdagings   Published  30 April 2013

Vandag weet ek dat all die swaarkry en ongelukkigheid in my verlede ‘n doel gehad het.  Deur my eie belewenisse het ek gegroei en belangrike lesse geleer. 

   As ons binne in die ‘seer’ is, kan dit moeilik wees om die ‘lig’ te sien.  Eers later as ons terugkyk gaan die liggie aan en verstaan ons die les.  God maak nie foute nie – deur ons lewenskeuses moet ons partykeer meer as eenkeer seer kry en swoeg, totdat ons uiteindelik leer en groei.  Hoe meer uitdagings ons belewe, hoe sterker word ons.  Dit is hoe ons leer wie ons werklik is.  Ons kan nie ander mense as ons maatstaf gebruik nie – net ons eie. 

   Deurdat ons foute maak leer ons wat om nie te herhaal nie en wat nie goed is vir ons as individu nie.  As ons ‘n positiewe reaksie op die uitdagings het – kry ons meer moed om ander uitdagings dapper tegemoet te gaan.  So kan ons met trots ons eie maatstawwe implementeer en sterk en regop met skouers terug, kop omhoog, elke dag verwelkom.  Dit gee ons self beeld aanmoediging en trots om eg te wees teenoor jou eie beginsels.  Dan begin die ‘jigsaw puzzle’ van wie ons werklik is, mooi pas.

Karin Engman   

072 7246985   

thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

www.karin‑engman.blogspot.com

Letting Go 23 April 2013

Letting Go…..   23 April 2013

I watched “The Life of Pi” for the second time yesterday and it touched me once again.  It is the most beautiful movie I have seen in a very long time.  I love the way he wants to practice every religion in his search for God and yet in the end stays true to his roots.  Demonstrating the importance of establishing a living relationship with God, that will carry us through life. The perseverance and bravery of this young man is truly inspirational.

With the loss of my beloved brother, in such tragic circumstances, I recognized the pain expressed by Pi, as he was being carried off from the beach, sand stuck to his face and wailing like a child. I remember that so well.  “Richard Parker left me so unceremoniously and this broke my heart”.

What hurts the most with a sudden and unexpected death is that we are deprived of a moment to say goodbye.   

“In the end the whole of life becomes an act of letting go”.  Letting go of our expectations.  Letting go of our disappointments.  Letting go of what we believe is supposed to be.

I find peace in my belief, that those who have passed are still with us in spirit – for as long as they are needed.

I light a white candle of peace today, for all those who still carry the pain of the loss of a loved one – may you find acceptance, forgiveness and be able to let go.

Karin Engman   072 7246985    thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

www. karin-engman.blogspot.com

A Promise To Myself

A promise to myself    16 April 2013

We need to conduct our own lives according to our own highest moral values that we believe in.  Belief being what we believe to be true, which is different to Faith.  Have you heard the generalized statements or perhaps use them yourself?  We are quick to point a finger elsewhere when we might very well find that on some level we are equally guilty of that behaviour which we so strongly condemn.  Sometimes we need to re-examine just what our beliefs (not religious) really are.  We might need to revise and rethink and update them a little.  “Your beliefs are a magnet that create your reality” (-coach Bobbi). If you don’t like your reality perhaps you need to revise your beliefs. People respond to their perception of reality, not reality itself. (NLP ‘truth’).  At different times of our life it is necessary to take stock of just what it is that be believe is true.  Like waking up when it is still dark and watching the dawn break as the world slowly wakes up.  It’s a beautiful thing….. however, you need to be awake to experience it.  With our young daughter the Disney channel is on far too much in our house. Who would have believed that Disney can still inspire us? I quote:  “I believe in loyalty and trust, I believe loyalty is built on trust.  I am brave sometimes, I am scared sometimes, and sometimes I am brave even when I am scared.  I think standing up for myself is important, I think standing up for others is more important, but standing WITH others is MOST important.  I promise to do my part…..“  It really is time that we stand together as fellow human beings with the same needs and the same dreams.   Albert Einstein said: “The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or in a hostile universe.”

Karin Engman   072 1896951   thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

Die Skoenlapper Transformasie

Die Skoenlapper transformasie

As kind het ek altyd gewens ek was buitengewoon.  Ek het gedroom van groot avonture.  Dit was die tyd voor TV.  

   Vandag sien en hoor ek wat die invloed van te veel TV op ons jong dogter het.  My drome was van lande vêr weg en baie interessante mense wat ek sou ontmoet.   As ek vandag terug kyk, het baie van daardie drome waar geword.   Ek het al baie gereis en baie ervaar, maar dit was nie op soek na avontuur nie, dit was op soek na myself.  Wat ek vandag vir seker weet is dat al jou seer en al die ongelukkigheid saam gaan waar jy jou ook al bevind.  In verre vreemde lande is jou hart nog steeds die selfde.  Dit is met dankbaarheid dat ek vandag weet dat my geluk in my eie hart begin.  Nou dat ek myself regtig leer ken het, myself leer lief hê het net soos ek is, en daardeur my ware roeping gevind het.  Uiteindelik begin my lewe regtig saak maak en kan ek my deel doen om ‘n verskil te maak.  Om jou ‘roeping’ te vind en elke dag te doen waarvoor jy werklik lief is, is om in vreugde en opgewondenheid te lewe.  Die skoenlapper van my binneste is uiteindelik bevry.     Nou weet ek dat ek, as God se kind, en werktuig alles behalwe gewoon is.  Die lewens-soek wat na ‘n groot draai uiteindelik tog net in jou eie hart eindig, gee die skoenlapper in jou die vryheid om opreg te wees.

   God maak nie foute nie, jy is presies wie jy moet wees.

  Karin Engman- Motivational speaker and Life Coach  072 189 6951

thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za, www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

Healing Deep Wounds

Healing Deep Wounds

To be exposed to war is something you will only understand if you have been there. To supress the pain in some way or the other – has to lead to unhealthy life choices.  In order not to ‘feel’ all that you have witnessed, most try to bury it somehow.  It may be in work, running marathons, or perhaps more obvious dangerous behaviour like drinking, smoking, eating too much etc.  However, it is absolutely NOT possible to run away from this injury forever.  Sooner or later it will start catching up.  Usually in our younger years we are so busy chasing that career or the financial means to provide for our loved ones, that we manage to disguise that, which we know is security filed away in our inner lock down vault.  Small triggers may bring up certain feelings and memories but mostly we can tuck them away again somehow.  In the long run the unhealed memories will show up in our relationships and in our physical health.  It might relate to guilt at the participation or helplessness to prevent the atrocities.  To be in a position of following orders from Government  that required unquestioning obedience haunt many an ex-soldier.  It is only after Vietnam, that the damage caused to ordinary young men really became known .

Post Traumatic Stress disorders, in which ever scale, is a recipe for bad health, relationships and robs the individual of any chance of real happiness.

I thank God today, that I have the opportunity, to do my small bit, to alleviate the pain and perhaps give some of our boys from the border a second chance in life of finding peace and healing of those wounds.  Sadly my beloved brother (may he rest in peace) never found the right person to help him. Perhaps  it is not too late for someone else’s’  brother!

Karin Engman     Life Coach  and motivational speaker     072 1896951

thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za     www.karin-engman.blogspot.com