Slow Puncture - Pap Wiel

Slow Puncture – Pap Wiel – published 18 September 2012

As ek ons fisiese liggaam vir hierdie doeleinde mag vergelyk met n vier wiel voertuig.  Ons benodig die regte tiepe brandstof, aandag wanneer dit tyd is vir n diens, en so voorts.  Ook is dit belangrik om die lugdruk in die bande te kontroleer en te balanseer. Dit kan lewens gevaarlik wees om met n onpadwaardige kar te bestuur.

Ons gesondheid is nie n eenvoudige saak nie. Dit is nie genoeg om jou multivitamiene elke dag te sluk, probeer om fiks te bly, en groente en vrugte te eet nie.  Dit is ook nodig dat ons bewus is van al vier die gesondheids ‘wiele’.  Geestelike, fisiese, emosionele en verstandelike.

Ons Geestelike Gesondheid is ons fondament  – as ons nie n lewendige en gesonde verhouding met God het nie is dit onmoontlik om n gesonde verhouding met onsself of met enige ander mense te verwag.  Om te weet/glo dat God ons onvoorwaardelik liefhet is uiters noodsaaklik. Dit is die eerste vraag: “is ek goed genoeg”? “Kan God my regtig liefhe net soos ek is?” Die antwoord hierop is n onomwonde JA! Deur my geestelike verhouding met God kan ek groei as mens en blom Sy Liefde. Die vraag is – het jy die gewisheid (German Gewissenheit) dat God saam met jou bestuur – Sy hande op jou hande – as you navigate your life?

Ons gesondheid is grootendeels ons eie verantwoordelikheid. Die keuse om gesond te lewe en my ligaam met respek en liefde te behandel – kan net ek self maak.

Ons algehele lewens balans hang af van al vier wiele  en dat elkeen die regte ‘druk’ het -

Hoe gebalanseert ons emotionele wiel is en met watter vaardigheid ons probleme en lewens ervaringe hanteer, het n direkte invloed op ons ander wiele.  

Meestal weet ons presies waar ons besig is om n pap wiel te ontwikkel.  Ons probeer om dit te ignorer en aan te gaan met die lewe.  Totdat ons op n stadium langs die lewenspad gaan staan en nie verder kan ry nie. Ons weet hoe dit voel om te bestuur met n ongebalanseerde wiel – dit verg ons aandag. Ons weet ons moet iets daaromtrent doen.  Ongelukkig kies baie mense om n meer ‘geleerde’ opinie te vra en is BAIE verlig as hulle n voorskrif kry en n pilletjie kan sluk wat die fisiese of emosionele ‘pyn’ vir n rukkie laat verdwyn of vervaag.  Ek hoor van te veel mense wat ‘happy’ pille sluk – en abrakadabra – alles lyk beter en wie sou kon dink dat dit SO maklik sou wees.

Die ‘seer’ sal miskien vir n wyle gekontroleer wees, maar sal altyd weer kop uit steek op een of ander manier.  Dit is noodsaaklik om aandag te skenk aan n ‘slow puncture’ voordat jou band bars en jy beheer oor jou voertuig verloor. 

Dit verg moed om self verantwoordelikheid vir jou gesondheid te aanvaar.  Eers word ons bewus van die fluistering, wat ons laat weet dat daar fout is.  Dan kom die ‘tap on the shoulder’ en daarna die struikel oor die haak plek in jou pad, dan die val waar jy seer kry en uiteindelik stort alles in een.  Luister en wees bewus, mens kan dit nie vir altyd onder die mat in vee nie.

Ons kry almal seer – n wyse mens het my lank gelede oortuig dat seer kry nie noodwendig n slegte ding is nie.  Dit is wat ons laat groei en wat ons forseer om te verstaan en te word wie ons is.  Daar is n doel met watter soort mens ons uiteindelik word.  As ek terug kyk na my lewe kan ek begin dankbaar wees vir al die seer en al die ‘foute’ wat ek beleef en gemaak het.  Sodoende is die Lewe my Universiteit om uit ondervinding met empatie te kan verstaan en luister na n ander mens se seer. 

Skryf jou SEER in die sand waar die wind van vergifnis dit kan uitwis. Engrave in Stone that which you treasure, so no wind can ever erase it.

Karin Engman,

 Life Coach and Motivational Speaker

 Ermelo, 072 189 6951, 

www.karin-engman.blog.com,

comments: thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

  

Dare to Go Bare

DARE TO GO BARE – Published 11^th September 2012

I overheard a lady at the hair dresser telling the perfectly groomed stylist how horrified she is that woman go shopping in their track suits.  How could you be seen in a track suit in public – PLEASE!! We won’t mention some ladies walking around town in their slipper.....

In a ‘previous’ life, living in Jozi, I belonged to the perfection club.  I had the perfect blond streaks, costing a small fortune and taking the better part of the day.  I visited all the youth enhancing, cellulite melting Rosebank Kugel studios. I will be the first to admit, in my early thirties, I looked like a million dollars!  Here is the secret – on the outside I looked fabulous, on the inside I was a mess! But that was me and that was then.....

So you can imagine this ‘Kugel’ arriving on the shores of Oz in the early 90’s, training to become a Scuba instructor – make up and perfectly blow dried bob!  I was most uncomfortable at first, with NO make-up and to be seen with wet hair plastered in complete disarray all over the place.

Let me assure you, under water, wearing a mask and a huge regulator stuck in your mouth blowing a Jacuzzi on every out breath is NOT attractive!  Not to mention the wet suit – goodness me – and to publicly squeeze yourself into this ridiculous contraption is enough to really challenge your self-assurance.  Pouring myself into neoprene never got any easier.  No matter how cool a brand name or how bright the neon accessories – it is decidedly unattractive.  I tried all the variations of wetsuits, but take my word for it, the ones you slide into easily do not keep you warm and chattering teeth for an hour is just not fun. The more you resemble the Oros Man – the toastier you can stay under water!

I recall a few years later, much more comfortable with my natural look, taking a boat load of Russians on a day excursion in Thailand. The young portly men were heavily gold chained and ringed and the high heeled pretty young ladies, would put Barbie to shame. The ladies, I kid you not, gasped horrified during the briefing, realizing that snorkelling required putting their faces into the water.  How they had planned on actually seeing fish is still a mystery.

This is not a criticism to enhancing your appearance – the need of a MASK is the sad story. Everyone needs to groom and care about how they present themselves to the world. There is much to be said about hygiene and cleanliness and neatness. Question is:  What is your mask of choice? How comfortable are you with the NATURAL you (NO MAKE UP) – would you DARE TO GO BARE? Permanent make-up does NOT count!

We all have our masks in life – for one it may be the perfect appearance, for another the big car, and another the bulging muscles or the brand named clothes or all of the above! The amazing realization comes when you think you are projecting a certain imagine when most see right through it and love you anyway – isn’t it amazing that we are wearing these masks to hide from ourselves and that we are only fooling ourselves?

You are beautiful as you are – nothing wrong with enhancing – but do you really need a MASK? Dare to Go Bare and be the REAL YOU! Let go of the masks that require so much upkeep and maintenance.  Let go of the chase of perfection and allow the real you to Blossom. As you emerge fully, and recognize that the people that truly care about you – love the REAL you and not the façade you have cultivated with so much effort! The ones that don’t..... never REALLY loved YOU anyway.    

“Don’t write your name on the sand or in the sky, water and wind will wash it away. Write your name in hearts of people, that’s where it will stay.”

Karin Engman    Ermelo    072 1896951

Life Coach and Motivational Speaker

www.karin-engman.blog.com

comments:  thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

Beauty and the Beast

Beauty and the Beast - Lets recognise the beauty in life – published 4^th September 2012

A hearty congratulations to all involved at Ligbron Academy of Technology, in staging this absolutely awesome production.  We bought tickets in support of the effort and of course the minimal entertainment Ermelo has to offer.  What a delightful experience!  The musical group’s singing brought tears to my eyes and goose bumps all over.  The months of rehearsal and the obvious dedication showed clearly in your grandiose production - you must all be SO proud!

              

The theme of this story appeals to me.  The ability to see past the ‘beast’ and recognise the ‘beauty’ of the person within.  Also, the transformation of the ‘Beast’ as he softens and finally believes that he really is worthy of love.  Literally as though a ‘light’ went on with this realisation and true love unfolds.  There seems to be much ‘Beastliness’ and ugliness everywhere we look.  The tragedy at the Lonmin Mine recently and many other examples world-wide, including the anniversary of 9/11 next week.  Ugliness seems to flourish, covering hope of a better life or a better world.  The helplessness that emerges from the daily bombardment of ‘ugly’ news can easily overwhelm us, resulting in a feeling of hopelessness.  I believe the HOPE and the difference that CAN be made, lies within each one of us.  Our feeling ‘alive’ will dim, with all the negative feed we have from newspapers, TV and general suffering of people we encounter.  Like a candle that is oxygen starved and will eventually go out.  This is a choice – How bright is your light burning?

  

Research was done recently to determine the ‘happiness’ factor of the youth worldwide.  It is concluded that the majority of people are 20% alive / happy.   Meaning the enthusiasm towards life, the general hope and expectations etc. is very low.  What does this mean?  It means we have very weak petrol in our tanks.  This equates to what ‘petrol’/ information we buy into.  What we do with each opportunity and each day.  That means 80% of our potential is simply wasted through poor attitude.  It is time that each one of us take action to turn up the light, to decide to participate in being alive.  You have the potential and the ability to turn that dimmer switch up to shine brighter.  The brighter you shine, the more positive effect you have on everything and everyone around you.  Each person you encounter in your day is affected by your light shining brightly, instead of your oxygen starved light that sucks everything from all those you meet.  If each one of us shines that little bit brighter, together we can make a difference. 

  

 Human beings are not the strongest species on the planet.  We are not the fastest or strongest or maybe not even the smartest.  The one advantage we have is the ability to co-operate, to help each other.  We recognise ourselves in each other.  We are programmed for compassion, heroism and love.  These are the reasons we survive or perhaps even why we want to survive.

  

 “Give me one pure and holy passion, give me one magnificent obsession, give me one glorious ambition for my life...”

LET YOUR LIGHT SHINE BRIGHTLY!  Thank you Ligbron, you showed us how it’s done!

Karin Engman, Life Coach and Motivational Speaker Ermelo, 072 189 6951, 

www.karin-engman.blog.com, comments: thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

Wish upon a Star

Wish upon a Star  - published 28^th August 2012

On my SABATICAL in the early 90’s I worked and lived as a Scuba Diving Instructor all over the world.  It may seem to be a carefree life to some, but in all honesty, most of the people in this kind of lifestyle are wounded souls. I packed up my life in South Africa and enrolled in a 6 month Scuba Instructor training program on the East Coast of Australia.  It was a relief to know that the “tannie” factor did not apply in Oz as I was much older than most of the students!

I worked on a live aboard sail boat as the cook and cleaner to earn extra money during my training.  In my “search” for the meaning of life and making sense of my life situation, I spent many hours gazing at the stars. At the time I was painfully disillusioned with Life. Anchored off one of the Whitsundays Islands on the East Coast, with no interfering electric lights, I reconnected with God. Feeling like a speck of dust yet certain that God knows ‘Little’ me, was a truly spiritual experience.  Gazing at the night sky is still one of my favourite things to do. Shooting Stars to be wished upon – and twinkle-twinkle dreams to be dreamed.

Nothing remains stagnant in Life except dirty pools of water!  Change is constant and change can be very beneficial.  The challenge is NOT to go into FEAR of change, but to embrace it.  Sometimes it is hard to say good-bye to the old and to let go of things that have become familiar.  Our OLD habits can actually weight us down and no longer serve our best interest.  Remember, if we do not let go of the OLD there is no room for the NEW. We all need some personal ‘spring cleaning’ from time to time. 

Once you have done what you need to do to facilitate the unfolding of your dream – then you need to LET GO AND LET GOD. Then, we can finally stop waiting...........and SIMPLY LIVE! Live TODAY – if we wait for everything to be right – we will spend our entire life waiting............we need to have FAITH and TRUST and then JUST LIVE!

Just for today let go of your impatience.  Just for today let go of your angry thoughts.  Just for today try to smile at a stranger.  Just for today do something without reward. Just for today...........

We do not need to understand or know all the answers. When we try to control the outcome we tend to mostly get in the way – knowing that we are NOT ‘in charge’ - takes a lot of pressure off – we turn our faces up, breath and allow God. 

IF YOU GIVE YOUR ALL THEN YOU HAVE ALREADY WON!

Karin Engman      Life Coach     Motivational Speaking       
For appointments:  072 1896951      Ermelo 

For Comments:  thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

www.karin-engman.blogspot.com

Changing Gears - Verwissel van Rat

Verwissel van rat – maak n verandering! (Changing Gears)

Om elke dag in die selfde roetiene te wees maak die Lewe tog so vervelig. Dis amper asof ons vashaak!  Om IETS n bietjie anders te doen is eintlik nie baie moeilik nie.  Ons is meeste van die tyd  net gewoonte gebonde.  n Klein daaglikse taak soos tande borsel met jou ander hand – is al n klein manier om jou gewoonte gebonde brein te oorreed om verandering in jou daaglikse lewe toe te laat en te aanvaar. Dit verg nog steeds n gewilligheid om  te verander en nie te wag dat todat ANDER mense verander nie.  As ons ongelukkig voel, is dit nodig om bereid te wees om veranderings  te implimenteer, al is dit ook ooenskynlik onbelangrik of minimaal.

Jy sal nie weet dat jy iets kan verander in jou lewe as jy dit nie prober nie!  Dit kan beteken dat dit noodsaaklik is om uit ons gemaksone te tree en die risiko te nee mom iets heeltemal anders te probeer. Dit is altyd ons keuse om weer terug te gaan na die ou gewoontes – maar wie weet – miskien hou ons van die verandering in plaas van die groef waar ons was? 

Snaaks dat ons liewer in DIE gewoontes bly wat ons ken, al maak dit ons ongemaklik en ongelukkig.  Ons praat baie en kla baie, maar volgende jaar kyk ons terug en is nog steeds in die selfde situasie. Ons omstandighede wat ons ongelukking maak egin om te klink soos n plaat wat vas gehaak het.  Ja nou gee ek my ouderdom weg – miskien is dit deesdae soos jou selfoon of rekenaar wat vries? Dan sit ons magteloos daar met die stand van sake en sink ons net dieper in ons ellende terwyl ons wag dat ander mense verander? 

Die moontlikheid bestaan dat eindlik iets baie opwindend en nuut op ons wag as ons dit net waag om die stap te neem. Angs is n baie sterk emosie en die redenasie van negatiewe gevolge kan ons baie keer oorreed om liewer by die ou gewoontes en lewenswyse te bly, al is ons diep ongelukkig.

Veranderings kan aan die begin n bietjie ongemaklik en vreemd voel.  As ons onself toelaat om die opwindende gevoel van verandering te geniet sal die Angs begin verminders.  Binne n kort tyd sal ons nie eers glo dat ons so lank gewag het om DIE stap te neem nie.  Niemand anders kan dit vir jou doen nie. Jy moet die besluit self neem en dan RATTE VERANDER.  Jy kan n rat op gaan en jou pas n bitjie versnel of n rat af gaan en sodoende spoed verminder om meer gemaklik te ‘cruise’.

Sodra die ‘nuwe’ gevoel van lewenslus begin om in jou binneste te ontdooi – kan ons begin ontspan en die self- vertroue en self versekerheid te laat blom.  Later kan ons terug kyk en die vordering in ons lewe met trots en nuwe lewensmoed verwelkom. 

Soos Walt Disney gese het:  “As jy dit kan droom, dan kan jy dit doen”

Maak n klein verandering in jou lewe vandag en kyk wat gebeur!

Karin Engman        Life Coach  & Motivational speaker    074 1896951 (Ermelo)

Comments:  thehummingbird@vodamail.co.za

Oscars to all the Great Pretenders

Oscars to all the Great Pretenders – published 14/8/12

Life requires a little pretence in various situations – we need to have some brain to mouth filters in place in order to keep some resemblances of civilized behaviour.  You cannot simply speak your mind as the thought enters your head – that would be chaotic.  I know some people who seem to have very limited filters in place and spend a lot of time apologizing or eventually growing rhino skin and simply not caring.  This is not the pretence I am so intrigued by.

I have watched married couples pretend, at least publicly, to the extent that I would award scars to both parties.  Personally I wish I had a little more ability to put up the perfect front.  As the saying goes: “Smile and wave boys, smile and wave”.  You could say that I wear my heart on my sleeve – probably often to my own detriment – but that is who I am.  To pretend takes all my maturity liquidized and squeezed into a tube and literally holding onto the lid to keep it contained.  In certain instances, i.e. Family, it is required – for the sake of peace.  Although I am sure that I am perfectly transparent.

I recently experienced the real deal of “between a rock and a hard place” To call this situation the “GREAT PRETENCE” of all recent times, felt like an understatement.

How many people live a daily life of Pretence?  How deep does DENIAL of the TRUTH go?  Eventually it seems that it cultivates an ability to bypass reality and exist on what is perceived as wishful thinking or is it survival?  For the sake of the children.  For the sake of financial implications.  For the sake of the parents.  For the sake of the society.  For the sake of work/career.  For the sake of WHAT?

The price seems awfully high – being in a constant state of STRESS and ANXIETY is a sure recipe for ILLNESS.  A constant state of FEAR manifests in FURY AND ANGER.  How can anyone survive when you have to keep up this PRETENCE?  Emotionally and Spiritually you must surely eventually DIE.  To be physically alive can only be the SHELL of who you are, the real YOU cannot exist in this space.

There are no winners in THE GAME OF THE GREAT PRETENTER, only LOOSERS.  Everyone loses – the children, the parents, the friends and MOST IMPORTANTLY by keeping up the PRETENCE you will have to give up YOU!

God did not make a mistake when he created you, YOU are meant to be YOU!

Dan Millman quotes: “If you don’t get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don’t want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can’t hold on to it forever.  Your mind is your predicament.  It wants to be free of change.  Free of pain, free of the obligations of life and death, but change is law, and no amount of PRENTENDING will alter that reality.

Karin Engman

www.karin-blogspot.com

Educated Risk

   

Educated Risk or Life Long Remorse – published 7^th August 2012

Last week, driving home, I stopped at the Post Office intersection, the traffic light turned green for me.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw movement   (or was it my guardian angel tapping on my shoulder?). I turned to look, just in time, to see a bakkie coming towards me, with obviously no intention to stop.  He drove straight through what was a red light for him. The collision would not have been my fault – yet the injury severe or even fatal. What if  - What if – What if? We can all be slightly distracted while driving, especially with children in the car –  even if you are the worlds’ most careful driver?

 S P E E D!!!  CELL PHONES!!! ARE YOUR CHILDREN WEARING SEAT BELTS????

 Google:  “crash test children”

Ermelo must rate RIGHT UP THERE with lawless Drivers of South Africa and the main culprit is SPEED and CELL PHONES.

We have just spent a month in Sweden (yes, I am married to the Viking who came riding over the hill….). It always takes a few weeks for me to come to terms with the FEAR of driving in this country. It is in my humble opinion, that it’s not the lack of education or economy – it is a simple matter of ENFORCEMENT. South Africans believe the law applies to OTHER people – THEM.  Swedes know that there is simply no point in speeding, drinking and driving, and they stop at a STOP sign – violation of that seemingly silly law can cost your license. It is after all a STOP sign and not a YIELD.  Some hurried and impatient drivers I meet on the way to school, barely slow down, in fact I worry that I am going to get rear ended because I stop! Yielding seems to be the order of the day – since you can see there is no car coming anyway…..

This is one of a number of lawlessness aspects of South Africa requiring me to return to my balance sheet pinned to my VISION board in the office.

REASONS  I  STAY IN SOUTH AFRICA!  1.  Blue Sky    2.   Sun shine     3. Family   4.  African Blood in my Veins  5. Lifestyle and many many more reasons…….                              – allow me to digress.….. In Sweden they have these little automated lawnmowers in every second garden, the size of our vacuum cleaners. This machine runs around the garden cutting the lawn, day and night, rain or shine.  It has an under-cover charger – which it returns to when the battery runs low.  It is SO common that you have road signs everywhere, warning motorists of possible escaped lawnmowers roaming the streets.  Anyway – I think I prefer Jabu – he is a faithful soul, always smiles and he chops firewood and prunes the roses. My father-in-law (zero English) even sent greetings to Jabu on our departure…..Yes, we are here to stay! The lawless driving concerns me very much - I fear mostly for the children.  Adults seem to wear safety belts and have airbags to protect on impact – WHAT IS PROTECTING YOUR CHILDREN?????? Educated people driving fancy cars with up to three of their precious children not strapped in!  I beg you – think about what risk you are taking. Even driving two blocks – all it takes is one speeding driver who misses that red light!!

Personally I have had two near death experiences – one by a Sand Truck coming at me at high speed with the drivers attention on his phone, looking up in the nick of time – I wobbled for the rest of the day, and spent a few days contemplating how it would be for my eight year old daughter to grow up without her mom.  Another incident, a big expensive vehicle drove straight through a stop street, missing me narrowly.

ARE YOUR CHILDREN WEARING SEAT BELTS????????

Unfortunately the Human race does not comply with the LAW because it is the right thing to do.  I have also experienced the law abiding Australian culture – “WHY” you ask, do some cultures abide by the law?  Because the consequences are serious – and they are ENFORCED!  For some reason we seem to think that the rules apply to others because I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING? Sound familiar?????? OR…… “THEY” all do it – so why shouldn’t I?

Today I APPEAL to all of you that have the privilege of transporting children.  Please, PLEASE – if for no other reason, imagine the remorse and the pain and the guilt if your children or God forbid your friends’ children are in your car without safety belts in a collision. Do not let this become a LIFE REGRET.

This is NOT about your driving skills or how careful you are – this is about the other person skipping a stop street or a red traffic light and colliding with you and your children. It is called and ACCIDENT – it does not need to be your fault.  NOBODY is EXEMPT – it does not matter how educated or rich you are OR NOT – the percentages in this country are one of the highest in the world.  YOU CAN NOT IGNORE IT! 

The links below are proof of what happens to children in a car at 30mph –  now I ask you – how many people drive within speed limits?  The car that nearly collided with you – was that at 30mph????? THIRTY MILES PER HOUR – that is about 50 km per hour – BELOW speed limit.

http://youtu.be/K6tsgzFvVI0

 http://www.youtube.com/embed/9CsUSTWjtHQ

By the GRACE of GOD THERE GO I   -  

I bought a wood carving in Sweden that says:  “Don’t live faster than what your Guardian Angel can fly”

LIFE IS GOD’S GIFT TO YOU – how you CHOOSE to Live it is your GIFT TO GOD

Karin Engman        Loss & Trauma Councelling          

Bioscience Centre   Ermelo     072 1896951

Comments:  thehummingbird@vodamail.co.zas